Avengers: A Wedding At Last

Steve's Confession

"So, what's the big news you wanted to share," Steve said as he stood at the kitchen island and set a couple of beers in front of Dean and Thor.

"I'm pregnant," Dean said, opting for the most direct method of delivery.

Steve looked from Dean to Thor, smiled and shook his head. "Okay, but really."

They fixed Steve was very serious expressions and he tilted his head and grinned. "Come on, guys. What's the news."

"That is the news," Dean pressed. "Thor and I are going to have a baby. It's currently growing in my spiritual uterus and my life force is nurturing it," he explained in a very matter-of-fact voice.

Steve's eyes widened and he looked at Thor, who smiled back. "He speaks the truth, Captain," Thor said, barely able to contain his pride.

Steve immediately swiped the beer away from Dean. "You don't need this. I need this," he declared before popping it open and taking a huge swig. Then he raised the bottle and inked it against Thor's beer. "Well, congratulations!"

"Who are we congratulating?" Bucky asked as he closed the front door behind him and walked into the kitchen, his arms full of groceries.

"Uh, well, Thor and Dean are pregnant," Steve explained in a voice that conveyed his confusion as he helped Bucky set the groceries on the island.

"What? Like a surrogate mother? I didn't even know you guys were trying!" Bucky said before reaching out to shake Thor's hand and then Dean's. "Congratulations! How far along is she?"

"Well, there isn't a surrogate," Dean explained.

Bucky tilted his head, now confused as well.

"Dean has a spiritual uterus and his and Thor's baby is growing inside of it," Steve clarified.

Bucky looked over at Steve and then back at Thor and Dean. "Okay, but really."

"That's got to be the craziest thing I've ever heard of," Steve said after Thor and Dean finished telling the story of their pregnancy.

"Well, we did fight a purple space titan and his magic rocks," Bucky said with a shrug. "This isn't such a stretch."

"I guess this is why you guys didn't want to go skiing," Steve said before asking how far along Dean was.

"Lavenda estimates about a month," Dean said.

Bucky raised his eyebrows and shrugged. "Alright, I've got to ask."

Dean and Thor looked at him expectantly.

"Where will the baby come out from?"

Dean and Thor smiled at each other. "Well, when the time comes, Lavenda said a tiny portal will appear near me and the baby will just kind of...pop out of it."

"How are you going to feed it?" Steve asked. "Are you going to...?"

"No," Dean spoke with finality. "There will be no lactation, thank you very much."

"Well, you said you're experiencing all of the symptoms of pregnancy except for actually physically growing the baby!" Steve reasoned.

"Yeah," Dean confirmed. "Basically everything except for that."

"So you're going to be getting all the cravings and feelings..." Bucky said.

"The nausea," Steve added.

"Yup," Dean said with a tight smile. "All of those are happening. Although the nausea isn't as bad now. And I don't think I've been too emotional. What do you think, Thor?"