Eunomia

Chapter 9 "Jupiter"

~Sebastian~

I was in a dark place I liked to call my mind, when you are as old as me you expect some childish things like nightmare to stop, well, they never do, not even when you have spent the last three hundred years sleeping around four hours per day.

It was pretty calm, and dark, wasn't it always? I walked without being fully sure about where was I heading. In the distance there was a light so I decided to go there, like a stupid mosquito that has just dug its own grave by feeling attracted to light.

Without knowing how, I was at a countryside, one close to a very familiar cabin. I recognized the figure of a girl, she was backwards but I knew damn well who she was so I didn't hesitate a second to go running to her.

"Jupiter!" I couldn't hold back my happiness when I was finally able to hug her after all these years. Having her in my arms was the only thing I have been dreaming about. "Dear Lord, I missed you like crazy!" I recognized. "I love you so much, little star." I didn't want to let Jupiter go of my arms, I wanted to hug her forever, I wanted to smell the lavender scene of her clothes everyday, at every hour, and maybe this time I wouldn't let her go.

Too bad Jupiter didn't want our hug to last as much as I wanted.

"Who are you?" She asked confused. She couldn't have forgotten, right? Because there hasn't been a day in which I haven't thought about my little star.

"It's me, Sebastian!" My voice broke, I was starting to feel a pressure in my chest that increased to the thought that she might not remember me.

"No, you are not Sebastian." Jupiter stepped away. "My Sebastian was sweet and kind, he cared about the rest, he put the needs of others before his own." Jupiter got lost in the teens of qualities now I missed. "You a sinner, a murderer!"

I didn't understand Jupiter's eyes of terror... until I did. When I looked down to my hands I found them filled with blood, I could feel the blood stains on my clothes and my fangs out, sharp fangs that dripped blood. I wanted to explain myself but if I took a step forward she took one back.

"You don't understand it, Jupiter. I'm this way because I didn't have you." I tried to explain. "But now that you are with me everything changes, I will change! I will come back to be the Sebastian you know... just for you." I almost whispered that last sentence, my voice sounded more broken than I would have liked, I sounded desperate.

I was desperate.

"No, you can't change. You have turn into a monster, and monsters don't change."

Monster...

It wasn't the first time someone addressed me by that name, I usually didn't care... but Jupiter? She's the only person whose opinion matters to me, the only one who probably has the power to hurt me the way she's hurting me now by calling me that. The only one who can break me... break the monster.

Damn, the sound of that word leaving her lips doesn't stop following me.

Monster.... It's like a fucking echo... Monster.

I'm a monster because of you, little star. You took my souls from me.

I woke up sweating. Sweating, frightening and surrounded by two vampires. Leoni and Ambrose were looking at me even more puzzled than I was.

I also looked at them trying to make my mind understand it was a nightmare, trying to understand that Jupiter was never there.

I never hugged her and she never called me monster.