Eunomia

Chapter 64 "Because there's a lot you don't know"

~Bryony~

Tears escaped from my eyes as I ran back home, it was supposed to be another performance but I doubted how real the tears that soaked me were. I thought that waiting for him in the tree would be a good idea but a part of me regretted it because when I arrived to our spot he was there, his eyes were of the same color as the blood of the man he was drinking from, I couldn't take that imagine from my mind... I remember that day I wondered how would Sebastian's red eyes be, I wondered if they would have the same sparkle that the blue ones did and I already got the answer. The way he dug his fangs in that man and drank from him while some drops of blood ran down the human's neck made me see him the way he was, he was a walking dead, a monster in eyes of the humans, everybody would see him as a monster but I couldn't...

When he opened his eyes and he met mine I saw that same sparkle, his eyes might have a different color but I was still able to see that sparkle in them. That endless gaze that left us both motionless when he was still dripping blood from his fangs followed me, I saw the fear in his eyes and he saw the fear in mine, he was afraid of how I would react after seeing him like that and I, opposite to the way he misunderstood my fear, was afraid of what would happen next.

Those endless seconds in which I debated how I was going to react made me choose the easiest way, like the coward that I was. I had enough time to think about it conscientiously, Sebastian was good for me, he made me feel in a way that I thought I would never feel again, he made me feel alive, want to be it. I loved to be with him and I'm not up to underestimate any second that we have spent together but I guess that at the end... Everything was fake. Jason was right, he was in love with a version of me that didn't exist and sooner or later we were destined to the failure. I was just smart enough for letting it end like this, with a good excuse.

I couldn't let him know everything about who I truly was and then let him destroy me...

I already have a ghost in my mirror, I didn't need another.

If I could go back in time... I wouldn't change the way I had reacted, that's why a part of me didn't regret going to our spot earlier. Us was supposed to end, it better be with Sebastian thinking I'm scared of him when the truth is that I think his vampire side couldn't be more sexy and that I don't mind if his eyes are blue or red as long as they look at me...

That was the right way to end things. I wouldn't stand his disappointed face if he realizes that I'm the manipulative bitch that I pretend I wasn't when he was around... Though I think I have realized that maybe I don't want to be like that... Too bad I won't have Sebastian with me to find it out.

And all why? Because there's a lot he doesn't know and it may stay like that.

As I ran through the grove I didn't bother to use my speed, I ran as the clumsy human Sebastian had get to love... I saw his eyes everywhere, but not the red color of them... I saw his broken heart reflected on them... I... I couldn't stop thinking about how different things were when I first find out about vampires.

It was very late, the sky was black and I was sure it was more than midnight, once again I couldn't sleep so I decided to go out, I left my house through the window and this time I decided to go to the derelict industrial unit we have turned into our spot.

It's been almost an hour and a half since I arrived and I had to admit I was a little disappointed, Jason always came to me when I left in the middle of the night without me needing to tell him. I have always wondered how he knew where I was but he was so sweet when he spent the night with me that I didn't care if he avoided to give a serious answer.