Eunomia

Chapter 50 "Big words"

~Sebastian~

I had just dropped Lizbeth off at home after spending the afternoon with her. It's weird because there were those moments with her... kissing her on the neck in a swing, seeing her eating ice cream while we talked about our once loved relatives, hugging her in a dark library that we had sneaked into, teaching her the stars... Listening to her moans getting lost between the melody of Mr. Blue Sky...

Those moments hit different, they felt different.

I was at my room, holding the little square speaker and only being able to think about her... When I was with her I forgot about everything.

I heard someone knocking at my room's door so I hurried to left the speaker where I took it and opened the door.

At least this time they knocked.

"Leoni." I got surprised when I saw her. But I got even more surprised when she walked inside the room without even looking at me, she went straight to sit at the edge of my bed so I followed her and sat next to her.

"Have you ever fall in love, Sebastian?" Her question caught me off guard. Leoni looked at me with an honest look, wanting to get an honest answer.

Some months ago I wouldn't have hesitate to say no. That three hundred thirty-six years dead and seventeen alive weren't enough for Cupid to point at me with his arrow. That love was a human stuff and all I wanted to do with humans was their blood. But every time I thought about humans I thought about her and maybe... maybe I doubted the answer.

"No." I ended answering and I couldn't get this feeling that I might be lying off my chest. "And you?" I had to ask back for avoiding overthinking.

"I'm more than two thousands years old, Sebastian... Of course I had confused things with love sometimes." She looked down to her feet.

"Leoni," I tried her to look at me. "I don't know why have you burst in my room but we can talk... about whatever that concerns you."

I didn't know Leoni's concerns, I thought that maybe they were about the trip to Greece but either way I wanted to give her the chance to talk, without me bursting into her mind.

"We are friends, right?" Her questions kept catching me off guard.

"Best friends." I corrected her. "But don't tell Ambrose, he might get jealous."

I got a laugh out of her and I smiled.

"Then we can gossip and all those stuffs friends do..." She started talking but I already knew what she meant so I didn't let her finish.

"Léonore, you want to talk about boys?" I guessed, using a gossip tone as I looked at her with my eyebrows raised.

"Yes." She admitted sounding confused, frowning. "I think that's exactly what I want."

"You can call me Tiana if that makes this conversation less awkward." I joked earning a friendly nudge from her. Friendly or not it still being the nudge of an ancient vampire with super strength.

"Pretty face, I'm not awkward with you." She excused herself laying on my bed.

I will take that as a compliment.

"Who is him?" I started the interrogation.

"Nathan Whitney." She answered and I found out my ears still hurt when I heard his name... I didn't like the football player, not because he was a bad person but because he used to get very along with my black sheep.

"Have you already deflowered the football player with multicolored hair?" I rolled my eyes when his face came to my mind.

"How do you know he was a virgen?" Leoni sat up.

"I would love to say that I read his mind but the truth is that he gave me the vibes." I smirked.

"Then I guess I did..." I didn't know if Leoni was going to keep talking but I preferred to die again over hearing the story of how Leoni fucked the football player so I hurried up to make another question.

"Do you love him?"

This time she was the one who was caught off guard. I didn't mean to force her to say something that she didn't want or know yet...

I could imagine how that felt.

"'Love are big words." She smiled but with nostalgia.

I didn't know who did she thought about while saying that and I decided to let it like that. Respect her privacy because she helped me with this conversation too... She helped me to realize how 'big' those words actually were and what they meant.

"Nathan is a good boy." I couldn't help but thinking I had already heard that. "I have went to his house, I even met his sisters... they are super cute." There it was again, the nostalgic smile.

I clenched my jaw closing my eyes for a couple of seconds. What Leoni was saying was dangerous and she knew it. That it was dangerous didn't mean it wasn't unfair because it was, we both knew that.

"Leoni, are you hearing yourself?" I tried to choose carefully my words. The last thing I wanted was hurting her.

"I know..." Her voice started to break and I distinguish some tears trying to ruin her makeup without success. "I'm screwed." She moaned between sobs.

"Come here." I said wrapping her in my arms, trying to confort her though I knew I couldn't. Not I. "You are not screwed, Your Majesty... I'm the one whose screwed." I admitted it aloud and if felt... good.

"How am I supposed to progress in life if I fuck up all my relationships... If I'm afraid of marriage and the idea of forming my own family..." Leoni's voice kept breaking what also broke me.

"That fear is not your fault and you know it."

Facts were the only thing that left my mouth. Truths.

"I know, it's their." One last sobbing escaped her mouth before she turned around to look at me at the eyes. "Please don't leave me in Greece, I won't take it..." She almost begged me.

"I promise that I won't separate from you at any time." I stare at her. Her lips starting to curve told me she understood that I would keep that promise.

✯ ✯ ✯

I remembered one night almost a century ago, we had drunk, Ambrose went to cuddle with Beatrice and only Leoni and I were left in the living room. We were talking and I asked her what was her dream. She answered that a normal life, a husband and a pretty little family, a house with kids, her kids. I asked her why didn't she make that dream come true and her answer was brief, 'That life is not for me.' Leoni explained me that she wouldn't be able to sleep at night knowing that one day she might wake up without her children or her husband, that she wasn't born to have a human life and that if that happened she would have the permanent fear of her family finding out and taking her children from her, the fear of a child of hers dying the way she did. 'I can afford to watch my back eternally. That's not life.'