Eunomia

Chapter 55 "Eunomia"

~Bryony~

We were alone when we arrived at Sebastian's house. He offered me to see a film but I was already going upstairs to his room. To his balcony for being more specific. At first I tried to look through his telescope but I didn't know how to do it properly so I ended up leaning on the balcony railing looking at the stars while I hugged Sebastian's jacket... It smelled like him.

"You will lose your time searching for the brightest star..." Sebastian's voice caressed my skin close to my ear. "I have it in front of me." Sebastian held my hand for making me turn around to face him. We were very close when I faced him and this time I was the one that kissed him.

I liked this kiss to start as something pretty, a kiss under the stars after a first date. As the kiss lasted the stars above us seemed to dim until all I cared about was him. Sebastian had insisted a couple of times that the one who shone of the two was me, I disagree. Sebastian also shone, in a darker way... The way the true me did. Perhaps others wouldn't see how we shone but we did, in my eyes our dark lights made the brightest of all stars.

The kiss intensified, I began to cling to him as something more than a beautiful and romantic kiss... I cling to him with desire, of him, of everything, though right now my only desire was to get rid of his jacket and come inside his room. Sebastian helped me with that, we started to move inside and as soon as we entered his room he helped me to take off his jacket, I did the same and helped him to take off his shirt.

I thought we would keep moving but Sebastian didn't thought as I and he grabbed my thighs, lifting me up until my legs were wrapped around him. Now we moved, Sebastian walked and I kissed him. Sebastian's hands were under my dress, he squeezed my butt making my breath heavier, causing me to let out one or two sighs against his mouth that could have been confused with light moans. A louder sigh escaped my mouth when I felt Sebastian's impatient hands getting under my panties too. At that moment I agreed that the dress was better on the floor so I stopped wrapping my legs around his bare torso and I ordered my feet to touch the floor again. It didn't take Sebastian long to help me with the zipper of the dress, waiting until the dress was on the floor for lifting me up again.

We stayed some minutes like that, kissing frenetically everywhere, the lips, the neck, the chest... We both were naked from waist to top, our chest fit together perfectly. I used to have insecurities with my chest... Though 'used' is the key word because when I died all those silly insecurities were replaced by a bigger one, being dead. I was dead not dumb, I knew I didn't have much to offer from above, my strong point was my butt.

I think Sebastian noticed that I shrugged when he was sliding his mouth until my chest, leaving kisses on the way, and probably a future hickey too. He stopped any show of affection of his mouth towards me, however he was still grabbing my thighs, getting me to look at him.

"I think I have already left clear how beautiful you are but I want to remind you." The way he looked at me with that disheveled hair made me understand that his words were honest. I smiled at him.

We laid on his bed, I was under him, he kissed me and my hands went down until they reached to get rid of the belt of his pants, unbuttoning the button of those pants... Sebastian caught me and grabbed my wrist above my head, he was always careful to don't hurt me and he left one last sweet kiss on my lips before returning mobility to my hands and looking at me.

"Are you sure about this?" He asked me and a part of me was glad that he showed himself up to stop if I wanted so.

"Yes, and I promise not to avoid you tomorrow." I joked smiling.

Sebastian didn't kiss me again as I supposed, he kept staring at me. I saw the doubt in his eyes of asking or not that question so I decided answer it.

"I'm not a virgen." I surprised myself when I said the truth. I didn't feel like lying.

"Me neither." He smiled. Sebastian started to kiss me but I stopped him, I needed to say one last thing before this continued.

"Eunomia." I declared feeling every single letter of that word.

I fell in love with you and I don't know why, was what I was thinking about when 'Eunomia' came out of my mouth. I wasn't afraid of letting him see that.

"Eunomia." Sebastian said back with an smile almost as big as mine, and this time he kissed me with crave after he finished talking.

I forced myself not to think that night. But when the rest of our clothes hit the floor, when he got inside of me making me tangle my fingers in his hair and this time my moans where followed by his, when we finished at the same time and we decided to hug afterwards... I thought, I thought that I was losing me, that I didn't know who I was when he was around and I didn't know if that was good or bad... Because I felt so good and safe of the ghosts when I was close to him that my heart refused to accept that was bad.

'A heart crowned by a six-pointed star...' I remembered the symbol of the asteroid that described us. 'Maybe it represents that we must follow our heart...' I remembered his words. Then a new fear invaded me, the fear of not knowing what my heart wanted and even if I knew... Should I listen to it?

✯ ✯ ✯

I was wrapped in his sheets, naked, hugging Sebastian tight because I felt like if I was close to him, time wouldn't pass and I wouldn't have to face all those problems I knew I had. Time went by too fast except when I was between his arms, then time stopped... That's what I needed most right now.

Sebastian's arm was surrounding me, caressing my arm while I rested my head in his chest. Something curious about vampires is that their chest went up and down because their lungs actually were filled with air, what they didn't have was a pulse. I couldn't help but remembering that I had been in this exactly posture with a vampire not even a year ago. It wasn't a nostalgic memory, for first time I didn't feel like I missed Jason because I didn't, Sebastian was the only one with whom I wanted to be like this.

I remembered something more, that one time I thought I heard a light heartbeat in Jason so I decided to put my ear on his chest and time how often that faint heartbeat was heard. Every 11 minutes was my answer.

I put my ear in Sebastian's chest and I closed my eyes, listening carefully for don't missing when his heart was going to beat. There it was, exactly every 10 minutes and 57 seconds there was an almost inaudible heartbeat. I knew that maybe that wasn't even a heartbeat but the contraction of a dead muscle but I didn't care. For me that heartbeat meant the world, it was the reason why Sebastian was here right now, dead or alive he was with me, hugging me over the sheets after having sex with me.

I kept embracing Sebastian, the balcony door was open and the wind was blowing, I wasn't cold, I felt asleep that night on Sebastian's chest, thinking...

Thinking how fast could this end when he found out what I was. When he found out that I'm dead as him but more rotten because when he tried to make me fall for him and accidentally ended falling for me I was provoking him nightmares with his ghosts, taking him to the extreme tempting him with my blood and lying about everything because this had always been a big performance for me while for him... It started with the excuse of a dirty game but we both knew that excuse stopped to work much sooner that he would admit.

I had always been the Oscar actress in this game but I made the mistake to get too much into the character.

'He loves a version of you that is dead.'

I licked a salt tear from my cheek before it would met Sebastian's chest.