A College Seeress' Diary

The pulpit and the pew

Dear Jesus,

I have noticed a trend for the few weeks I've been staying in Sapphire hostel with my roomie. Portia spends the most part of her week days outside the room. The only days she's always in are weekends—Saturday and Sunday to be precise—spending the greater part of her morning sleeping as if she had been drugged with sleeping pills or had treaded a huge mill the whole night.
Then, when I get back by noon time or thereabouts, I'd find her coming in with a pile of done laundry and her ears plugged in, listening—painfully, in my opinion—to loud pop music.

I, however, would feel like I'm committing a  grievous sin if I didn't go to church. Being a Pastor's kid my whole life engrained that Sunday morning default mode into me. Me and my parents were most times the first to arrive and last to leave the church. However, my embarkment on a search for a place to call a spiritual family here in McCheyenne college had been in vain.

It's not that I couldn't find any church on campus. There are many churches and even non-denominational fellowships on campus, many that are popular denominations nationally, few which aren't known at all, many who would even cluster at the entrances of hostels to 'catch the fishes fresh' and 'harvest the wheat'.

Sigh... I'd in fact, tried a few. Three to be exact. But, seriously, they're not where I'd term 'Church' by your own standards, Lord.

The first place is what I'll tag 'The Extreme'. Everything was overhyped.
One: The liberty to wear anything—and that meant literally anything. The lead vocalist of the choir had half her hair tinted orange and pink. Most of the workers that mounted God's holy pulpit wore clothes that were nothing to write home about, looking as if they were going to a stripper's club.
Two: The loud blaring rock-like music with distracting disco lights all over the hall.
I guess that was their own concept of a means to attract young people. In a way, they achieved their aim. The hall was crammed with tons of flamboyantly dressed students that made me feel out of place in the simple gown I wore. One would think that this was a disco hall or a club house rather than the house of God.
Three: The message was so shallow and short, not even spanning up to twenty minutes. I couldn't contain my disappointment over this particular point. People were literally starving spiritually here.

Forgive me Lord if I somehow sound overrighteous or judgemental. I'm just expressing what I felt in that you-know-where church.

My second attempt was a bit more promising.
What spoiled the show were the warped spiritual signals I was getting. If what I felt was real, then that church was either consciously or unconsciously under the direct control of demonic spirits.
I was so uncomfortable and a sort of unnatural fear and sick feeling filled me. I could barely follow the service. I just sat all through the sessions of prayer and praise all the while praying in the spirit under my breath as I battled the weird feeling I was having.

At the middle of the program while the announcement was going on, I used the excuse of wanting to use the ladies and snuck out of the building. As a confirmation, I glanced back at the receding hall and my spiritual eyes were opened. A bunch of angry-looking imps were glaring at me with beady red eyes.
Startled initially and then scared out of my mind, I understood better then why I couldn't stay there. What fellowship had Belial with Light? But, I felt sad for the countless blind ones trapped unknown to them in that place, thinking they were worshipping God whereas they were infact slaves of the devil, or as it seemed, many of them were trapped in the cycle of religion. God, please have mercy on their souls.

My next attempt at church was sadly funny. I saw men on the pulpit trying to look spiritual, screaming their heads off, laying hands on people, shaking them vigorously in a bid to make them 'fall under the anointing'.
I felt like weeping, seeing this misunderstanding and abuse of the power of the Holy Spirit.
This last encounter was the straw that broke my lion's back and I had been doing service by streaming my home church's service online and joining in.