A College Seeress' Diary

Don't Embarrass Me

Dear Jesus,

No offence, Lord, but once in a while, I can't help but wonder why some of your demands seem so... (How should I put it?) Outlandish, so to say.

The past two weeks have been a real battle.
I apologize for quite the distance from this diary. It's all been just too overwhelming and I've hardly had the time for myself.

Yes, Shelly was rescued from death, thank you. But when I tried to talk to her about accepting you, she clammed up and didn't respond. It was like I hit a brick wall. Nothing I said or tried could cut through the barrier.

I have not ceased praying for her, though. If the enemy tried to use her as bait, to kill her, then there's a high likelihood he'll try again. I just pray it won't be too late before she realizes how much she needs you.

And, about Portia... We've had a rough ride.
I'm not talking about our relationship level-that has been wonderful.

I can see now why you gave her the Holy Spirit at almost lightning speed. Seeing as she'd entered a covenant or voluntary pact with the dark side, we've been having quite a number of 'visitors'. Not the nice ones, mind you. I'm talking the malevolent spirits out to kill us.

Portia's been afflicted with terrible nightmares. Many times she'd jolt me out of her sleep with a scream, sweating like she completed a fifty-kilometre race with hellhounds hard on her heels.
I'd rush to her side, and she'd cling to me like her life depended on me, shaking like a leaf, crying and repeating words along the line of, "They're coming... For me, for us... Oh, Radiance..."

I always did my best to calm her down. I'd pray in tongues or read scriptures aloud until she calmed down enough. Even then, she'd find it hard to go back to sleep till the day broke.

There was one afternoon I returned earlier than Portia to the room and sensed an evil presence hovering about her bed.
It was so strong, and when I activated the seer gift by the instruction of the Holy Spirit, I wasn't too surprised to see the demons that were preparing mayhem for her in anticipation of her return.

Swallowing away the disgust and annoyance that fueled in me at the sight, I commanded those miscreants to leave our room in your name. Gloria and the other angels promptly swung to action. They rounded every one of them up with a swing of their weapons.

It's not been easy, I tell you. I don't know how much longer we can handle the attacks. They're just coming back and forth like hails.
I'm afraid it's taking a toll on our academics.
Exams are fast approaching and I've barely been able to focus in class not to talk of studying on my own.
I just hope it'll all finally be over soon.

Nonetheless, Holy Priesthood, my parents and Pastor Fremont have been a great support system for me. Times when I was weak and depressed by the intensity of the battle, I'd have them calling me to check on me, encourage me and pray for me. They've made the burden bearable.

And Portia, who had been anticipating the attacks, has been enduring like a good soldier. She's learning resilience and is growing in you at a remarkable speed.

Another thing you've been hammering in my spirit is learning to allow you to control the reins of the gift you've given me. Ever since the seer gift key was handed to me, I've been tempted in my flesh on more than one occasion to use it to my selfish advantage. And I've made mistakes.

Yesterday, Phoebe, one of my coursemates, was indirectly picking on me, commenting on how much of a klutz I looked and behaved because I kept so much to myself.

The problem was I had become more distant than before from most of my coursemates and everyone in general because of the hideous things surrounding them that frequently flashed through my vision.