A College Seeress' Diary

'Do Not Disturb' Mode

Dear Jesus,

I stood on a bleak, featureless landscape, confused, scared. Overhead were dark, ominous clouds.

Where am I?

I looked around, squinting in a bid to capture anything familiar in the distance. All I could see was an expanse of white sand dunes like in a desert, except the scorching heat was absent. Actually, it felt chilly there.

"Anybody here?" I called out. My voice echoed back to me, taunting, like I was hedged in by avalanche-liable mountains.

Inside, fear rose like a swelling wave. I felt like a nobody in a vast expanse of nothingness.

After walking in cycles for a while and getting nowhere, only feeling more dizzy and lost, I collapsed from exhaustion on the sand, buried my head in my knees and cried.

A moment later, I felt a soft tap on my shoulder.
I lifted up my head and saw the beautiful face of Gloria, my guardian angel. Her bright halo made her face with soft angles glow luminescently. Her golden sword was sheathed and tucked in her belt.

She looked very concerned and gave me a small sympathetic smile of understanding.

I wanted to ask her a million questions, but a jumble of emotions swirled in me.
Only one came out, clogged and pained, "Why?"

She knew what I was referring to the discovery of my adoption.

"He knows and cares, Radiance," she said softly in that angelic voice that washed over me like honey over waffles, stroking my shoulder. I looked into her eyes, unable to deny that fact. If indeed she was my guardian angel from birth, then she knew my real origin.

She reached into her white robe, brought out a gold-sealed, white envelope and gave it to me. I collected and opened it with trembling fingers.

The scent of aloes, myrhh and frankincense wafted into my nostrils. I knew at once that this letter was from you.
It read:

Dear Radiance,

I've always wanted to reciprocate your letters to me. I guess the time has finally come. I'm sorry it has to be under these circumstances.

Beloved, I know your alarm. I know you're scared and hurt and angry too.
I understand how you feel. I have been touched with the feelings of your infirmities.

But, I want you to let go of the hurt and embrace the truth. For my sake.

I won't tell you why and how all your parents have told you came to be. I've already instructed them to do that personally. And soon, you'll understand clearly why it had to come at this time.

In the meantime, don't you let your guard down. The enemy is planning to strike while you're in your vulnerable moment. If you pray and trust, I will avert it.

I hope you recover soon. I'm interceding ceaselessly for you.
Remember, I'm with you forever, even in this. And I love you.

Yours forever,
Jesus.

I held the letter tight and buried my face in my palms as I wept.

When I opened my eyes, I was on my bed, staring at the blurry outline of the familiar design of my dorm room's POP ceiling. Tears were on my face. A wave of sadness washed over me as I sat up on bed and groped for my eye glasses by my bedside locker.

The information I received yesterday came crashing back.
I was adopted! And the dream I just had confirmed it. My parents weren't kidding. You'd just told me what I wished was a terrible mistake was actually true.