A College Seeress' Diary

Explosive Discernment

Dear Jesus,

I stretched like a cat on my bed while my alarm jingled on. After managing to turn off the alarm, I sat up, chewed at nothing, and scratched an itchy spot on my scalp.
Taking a deep breath, I patted my cheeks and shook my head to hasten my waking process.

As sleep slowly left me, I had this sensation in the pit of my stomach that something explosive was going to happen today.

What was today? Oh, right! Sunday. Officially dubbed my best day of the week.

My dream. Swirls of images that made no sense to me. Blurred flashes of scenes in the dream floated through my mind like soap bubbles in sunlight with distorted spectra of rainbow colours. They slipped out of my grasp.

I was still trying to wrap my head about my real family ties which the visit to my Grandparents' yesterday had uncovered. But, that was inconsequential considering what I had glimpsed in my dream and what lay before me.

I heaved my body out of my bed and knelt by my bed, humming a tune that seemed to come from nowhere (heaven perhaps) and surround me.
With my eyes closed, I focused on you, my King. I know if I ever will survive the battle coming ahead, then I need you real bad.

The hum was heartfelt worship. I didn't even have the words to say to express my love and gratitude. I just knew the humming made perfect sense, perfect melody to you. I did that for close to thirty minutes and grew silent.

"Hey, Jesus, good morning!" I eventually whispered.
"Can we talk? Can I be real with you?"

I heard nothing but could sense Gloria standing by my bedside like the faithful sentinel she is.

I sighed.
"Um, it's about my spiritual sight. Yeah, I know it's super cool and all. I'm not complaining. I'm blessed to have it. But... but it's creepy too, I must confess. I don't want to be seen by people who are ignorant of these things as the weirdo, or worse, the psycho, especially since you've been pressing it upon my heart to return to school immediately. How will I control my reaction to the things I see when people are around?"

No response.

"I know you're there. Why not tell me something? Anything. Please. I need something to hold on to. And you know your voice calms my nerves."

Well, I didn't hear your audible voice, but I had this great impression to pick up my Bible.
I did.

On the page I opened to first, there was a verse highlighted in purple that suddenly reached out and grabbed my heart. Jeremiah 33:3.

"Call unto me, and I will answer thee, and shew thee great and mighty things, which thou knowest not," I read out and chuckled.

I lifted my head upwards with my eyes closed for a minute, allowing the words to soak into my spirit.

I said with a sigh, "Humour me, Lord. If this is your answer, then it's like I'm asking for a rock and you're giving me a mountain. Sometimes, I feel like I need a break, you know, from all the seeing. But I'm guessing not."

'Keep reading.'

And I did. I read the entire chapter. Oh, the light and clarity and confident assurance that your word brings. I knew it was your voice.
I especially loved the part there that said if the covenant of day and night and seasons could be broken, only then would it be possible for the covenant you have made with me (there it said David, your servant) to be broken.

I also read all the scriptures that Pastor Fremont had given me the other day and marked them with my purple highlighter.

After close to an hour of soaking in your word and journaling all the things I could sense you saying to me, I bowed my head and began to whisper out prayers.