A College Seeress' Diary

John, The Baptist?

Dear Jesus,

When I alighted from Angel's Wings, removed the helmet and wore my glasses back, I gave John a curious look that read 'What the-?'

"Radiance, why are you giving me that face?" he asked with an amused chuckle.

"Where have you brought me to?" I asked, arms crossed, feigning annoyance.

The truth was, despite myself, I was truly awed. Was John one of the people who frequented this place-my not-so-secret-anymore GWW?

How was that even possible?
Coincidence? Fate? Yet another divine orchestration?
Of all the people on this vastly populated college, why did it have to be that I'd once again converge and meet my 'idol' in my acclaimed secret place? You've got to be seriously kidding me.

"Well," he said as he secured the helmets on the seat, "I found this really cool location. Well, maybe 'found' isn't the proper word. Maybe 'stumbled upon' is. I tell you, Ray, it's like there's a ladder that reaches from heaven to earth here. I've come here to reflect and pray a few times. And I wanted to show it to you. I know you'll love it. Maybe you'll be able to settle scores with God here and unload whatever is eating at you."

I was speechless.
Was my mouth slightly ajar?

He stretched his hand to me. I took it gingerly and allowed him to lead me. He cleared the covering creeping plants that hung as a masking canopy over the entrance.

When we stood at the front of the Great White Wall, I was doing my best to not squeal out, "This is my spot, not yours!" and reclaim my territory.
But mature people don't lay claim to something they had just happened to stumble upon.
The GWW was a gift; I also didn't earn it.

"This is one place on this campus that you can truly touch God. It's unsoiled. I'm glad that I'm sharing this treasure with my friend," John said, smiling at me.

I didn't say anything.
In that moment, I was setting boundaries and walls for safety.

One, no undue closeness. John is still a guy and I'm a girl and we were alone here. Well, of course you were there with us, but still...

Two, I decided I wasn't going to tell anyone about my predicament until I was strong enough to understand and accept the explanation you had promised my parents would give. It wouldn't kill me to keep silent and bear my cross alone. Or would it?

Three, I'm not telling him this was my spot, that I'd found this place first. Nah-ah!
It'd send the wrong signals to him. Let him enjoy the triumph for now.

Letting go of my hand, he walked forward confidently like he owned the place, and stopped in front of the white wall that I've come to realize ran around the perimeter of the 'Tower of Babel'.

His hands trailed the old mossy white wall and I watched him.
Slowly, he turned serious. His eyes were partly closed and lips were moving but I didn't hear a sound.
And then I realized he was praying.

But I couldn't join him. I knew if I should really express what was in my heart as I was feeling, I'd melt into a puddle of tears and would only end up worrying John more. So, I gritted my teeth and concentrated on fingering a leaf whose vein pattern suddenly became very interesting to me.

When I looked back up some jobless minutes later, John's eyes were fixed on me in a deep frown of concern.

He came closer.
I gulped.

Not that I was afraid that he'd hurt me or do anything stupid. He wouldn't, at least from what I had tested on more than one occasion-Remember that time I took a pocket knife on his first visit to my house at the Love Feast when we took that first lone walk in the garden?