Biblical retrospection

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I m breething heavy fire
My nose is full of blood
Inside and troughout it,there s heavy blood
fiery blood from the darkest pits of hell.
My hands twitch and turn as my finger grip the air.
They clubch the nothinness so hard
..An imaginary knife.
And i as a good actor,put it trought my knee.
It perforates my bones

..or I.rpetend to,as a good actor does.
The pain on my chest and neck wre enough
Actually,that s how a good actor pretends to forget.

And as an actor and as a god.
As a ,,villain"
I still stay,run,bend,squad,everything to dodge
With a broken knee and a heavy heart and neck.
Heavy eye,especially heavy hands.

As a villain I must remain alive
Not because I want to complete my purpose
Not because of some random ass girl s spite
But because I want to live
And I want to smile at least once.

But I have to wait more for that.
And you,dear mom,came home
Along with your servant
And my smile won t shine no more
But it s alright.
I ll do it again
Because i m stringer than you.
Because i m stronger than everyone.
Because I,Azazel,the scape goat
Lived trough thing people like Virginia couldn t even have nightmares about.
Because you don t always need time to gave experience
Because you can make a project and be done in one late night.

As Lilith I smile knowing I was first.
As Azazel I smile knowing my worth
As Judas I smile knowing I sell the man that hurt me the most.
As Cain I smile having pride
As Eve I smile knowing there is someone that loves me and sees me and the man as equal.
As Samson I smile knowing I don t need my beautiful hair to lift the mountains
As Isaac I smile knowing I m worth sacrifice to your made up god.
As tainted as my soul is
It still glows and grows.
And I still smile
And as Iris I cotinuing smiling
Knowing I am the real god.
I smile with tears in my eyes
Knowing my pain tolarance is bigger than the world.
I smile with broken lips
Knowing who I am.

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