..I remember clearly when you kicked me out of the house
..You monster.
Monster made of pennys,monster with a mask.
You told me I don t deserve to be there.
It took me a while to put the hand on the door knob.
It was shaking.
When i finally managed to do it and got out of that dredfull house it was silence.
No screams,to talking,no nothing.
At first I wanted to run outside and sleep in a random place
But i remeber I live in Suceava.
Them I figured I would sleep at my grandma.
,,Knock knock"no response.
I just sat down on the stairs and waited.
And waited.
I bear a ,,click"noise
They ve locked the door.
That s fine.I didn t want to come vack anymore
And i kelpt waiting.
I almost feel asleep.
When i hear the door open up
,,-Come home"
....Lmao.
,,-No."
,,-..Come home now"
,,-No.My place isn t there"
She got angry
,,-Come home now."
,,-..My place isn t there "
She started sprinting towards the stairs.
I ve got up ...Not to run,no.
I ve put my head against the railing,smilling,and waited.
I m alwags smiling.
I waited for her..I greeted her.
..What happends next is long..But I won t speak about that.
That is not the point of my writing.
Her scratches on my skin and my now lost ans ripped bracelet aren t the point.
My lost pieces of hair aren t the point.
..The point is she keft to get something better to whoop my ass.
My father stopped her and told me to come home.
I went home because I know he cam kill me without much effort put in..And he s insane so he doesn t need a reason to kill me.
I shortly had a fight with my sister on this subject
About how I ruined their anniversary.
And my aunt told me bow the congext matters and it s my fault.
I won t coment on that even if I can because my point is still not here.
..My point is my wondering.
Because I wonder..
..I wonder ,, what if I didn t come home when he told me to?"
..Would have I ve been dead?
And I am not scared of death.
Never was,never will be.
..but I wonder..Are you scared of death?
Woukd you finally blame yourself.
..I wonder what would have had happend if that monster made of sugar would have joined the masked penny one.
I wonder if you would have had changed.
I wonder if it would have had been different now.
I wonder if you would have had a divorce because mom seemed like she was and is sorry.
I have apologise for not talking and for seemjng sad even if I was.
I apologized for having emotions
..You apologized for beating me and kicking me out.
And now you re..Trying to act nice.
You even gave me your vape to smoke.
You try to make me look at you and see a friend.
I ll never do that.
Actions have consequenses.
..I wonder what would have had the other monster do.
The poisonos one.
The one who s also wearing a mask and a made up doctor coat.
She told me I m selfish.
I m selfish for not looking happy at ones aniversarey.
I m selfish for looking tired and sad.
I m selfish for having emotions.
...she wasn t home when that happend.
She was drunk.
In her made up doctor collece.
In a different city.
..And I m the selfish one.
I m the selfish one for taking everybodys anger.
For saying sorry to everyone.
For not responding when someone insult me.
I am selfish for healing from what I was?
I m selfish for trying to escape this unscapable ilness made from stress?
..Selfish.
Y know,i ll never see her the same.
What once was a great warrior who protected me
Now became a venomos fake monster.
..And I wonder if He would have had killed me
If you would see me as selfish.
If I was in an unescapable coma right now
If I would still be the selfish one.
he wanted to kill me.
He always does.
He always gives me the least.
He grabbed me by my neck
He told me to kill myself.
...Sugar monster.
..
..i wonder if the one whom left ..And their departure gave me stamdars..I wonder if that person would have had known about my death.
And if that person would be sad.
