Free I shall be
Free,as a bird in the sky
Free as the kaighter of a child.
Free like a teenager playing an online game
Free like my parents are abusing me and telling me I am not a human,i don t need and I don t have emotions,my only goal in life is to exist to.help them.If they are anrgy,i am their punchung bag,if they want a hug because no one likes them,itbs my purpose to hug them and no one is stoping them for screaming at me.
Free as my hair in the wind
Free as a wild animal.
I sometimes wish
That god would exist.
I sometimes wish
he,who would sit in the clouds, would hear my parents praying for forgivness and a better judgement
And give those to them.
It s almost like he takes that exact same thing away.
Each day there s less neurons.
Each day their brain is smaller
Each day I want to stab their chest and rip out their lungs and vocal cords so they will feel how it is to want to scream but are not permited.
Each day they re farther away from being normal.
And sometimes
Sometimes I wish it could go quiet
I wish the screams of my so called pathetic excuses of guardians would vanish
I wish I could sit still and hug a pillow without having anything in mind
I wish my voice woukd atop rambling in my mind
I wish I could stop seying everything as relative because the more information you know,the more you hear,and it never goes quiet.I can never stop hearing those screams filled with blood and iron thay are directed not at my father or sisters,but at me.
..But it s fine
I have my sister.
Even if she s in a trip now.
Even if she s far away now
Even if she s not coming today or now.
Even if she never was truely there,just for a day or an hour.Only in the darkest hours she would come and safe me and then would live me in even more mksery.I love her,i admire her,but I ll never live to the expectations she set.I ll never be anything other than a dissapointment who has all the chores unlike her who s always have been and always will be a spoilled brat that can do whatever the hell she wants.She even gets an allowance...But even with all of that I love her now.
,, Little miss abused"
,,Little miss hitting herself until she more than a bruise"
,,Little miss isn g allowed to have emotions"
,,Little miss who has been so shattered and broken by the world,she doesn t even belive it s real anymore.People hurt her to much and with worse anf worse excuses she doesn t think they re alive.
And it s so repretitive it s like a program.Little miss i wanna wake up,little miss who wants to sleep Little miss that begs you to stab her neck with a knife and lit it on fire"
,, Little miss with a moral compas that hurts her "
,,Little miss tired"
It s fine
It s 3/4 fine.
It s 3/4 normal
It s 3/4 perfect.
