The flower and the demons

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I shall lay down
On the gate.
She called them.
She called the demons.

She did it.
She didn t touht it ll be bad
Because she s privileged.
Because when she has a prpblem
And she calls the demons
She doesn t get anything back that s bad in return.

Because her eyes aren t blury
Because she s ,,perfect"in any way.
Because missis doctor is the perfect flower.

That s why she didn t expect to end it so bad.
She doesn t recive anything bad.
Ever.
And she cries and kicks and screams like a baby
At the smallest things
When she doesn t recive money
When she can t go across the country.

Yet I,the onewithout a mounth
The one with blurry eyes
The one that needs literally tens of hours eith her friends just to take her mind of the lashes and the belts and the trauma she recived.
Just to take her mind away from how her father took her by her neck and told her to comit suicide
Just to gake her mind away from how her patents don t see her as a child or as a human,just as an imperfect mistake that needs to be thin and health doesn t matter for her
Just to take her mind away from how her fayer chased her qt 6 years old in the bathrom to beat her up because she messed up her piano song she was playing.
How the door was vibrating and moobing in and out
Because of how hard he was hitting.

And yet this flower without petals
That is hated by the universe and life itself
Is called a ,,princees" by her mother.

How could I pick up this flower
This poppy
How could I pick it up without ripping it apart?
I can t.
I won t try it even.
No one does it,why should i?
When the flower is ripped apart by demons
When it was already petalles.

My heart hurts
My stomach hurts.
I m glad I am alone
I m glad I can survive
I m glad I can be happy without amyone
And I am glad I smile and I am this strong
And I am glad I now don t trust people because they rip me apart
..But why couldn t I meet them befoure?

Why couldn t I had meet cristina when I wanted a partener?
Not noe when I rather fucking die than have another cursed girlfriend
Why couldn t I had meet Emily
When I tristed poeple ebough to tel them about my stars?
Why couldn t I had meet Kati
When I wanted to give people changes

Why couldn t I had love myself
Befoure I had to repair me?
And why did I meet you
When I regret it from the bottom of my heart?

Why couldn t the. Hedgog
Be still here
Why isn t the crow
As nice as it was befoure
Why do I have to be my soldier and  and everybody elses knight
When I m tired?

Why can t I have a knight?
Why do people rip flowers?
Why can t I be left alone?
Why does everybody know me?
Why can I be pribilaged aswell?
Why can t I be dumb?
Why do I have blurry eyes?

Why am I blind?

Let me see

Take the fake buttons out of my eyes.
You lied to me.

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