A New Dawn (nwh spoilers)

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As the first hints of sunrise began to show at the edge of the horizon, Peter's arms burned as he swung himself away from Liberty Island. He hurt, mentally and physically, but the swinging was a familiar and repetitive motion that left him alone with his thoughts.

He wouldn't tell them. He knew that, already. If he thought about it for much longer he'd realise that they were better off without him. He might even try, in a bit when everything had settled. He'd go in telling himself he would do it and knowing in his heart that he wouldn't, and come out with nothing more to show for it than emotional damage.

Peter's arms slowed, letting the swings become longer. He wanted them to remember, he really did. He wanted everything to go back to how it had been when it was just the three of them against the world. But heroes didn't get what they wanted, and that was all he was now. A hero. A nobody in a mask.

But that didn't stop him from wanting, all the same. His entire body ached with it, with the knowledge that he would be the one to deprive himself of what he needed most. With great power comes great responsibility. His other, older selves had lived by these rules, and look how they'd ended up. Was it really so bad for Peter to want, just a little? (A little, like the pain of this desire wasn't eating him up inside). He'd given so much of his life for other people, couldn't he take this small thing for himself? Didn't he deserve to be a bit selfish, just this once?

With that thought in his head, Peter stopped swinging. For a couple of moments, he allowed himself to fall. The wind whipped around him and he tumbled through his emotions and memories. Ned, always by his side no matter what. MJ, looking into him with teary eyes and saying she loved him. The two of them, holding him after May had died, telling him it would be okay.

Peter turned mid-fall, and shot a web towards Lady Liberty.

All the way back, he didn't allow himself to think, knowing that he'd find a way to talk himself out of this. But how much of that voice was his own, and how much was what the world had told him he needed to think?

Strange was already gone - of course he was.

They were still there. Of course they were.

"Hey," he said, dropping in front of them. His voice stayed steady - it hadn't fully sunk in yet, everything he'd sacrificed. (Such a small word, sacrifice.) They startled a little, and he offered a sheepish wave. It was like a game - he was acting the hero, and they were pretending to be oblivious citizens in need of his help. Just a game. "Saw you two down here, thought you might need a hand."

They looked at him with eyes red from crying and bewildered expressions telling him everything he needed to know about how they didn't know why.

"Are you guys okay? Where can I take you?"

And just like that, the moment was gone. He'd taken too long. He should have pulled his mask off right there and told them everything, but that little voice was back and telling him it wasn't the right thing to do, and even if it was he had no idea how to go about explaining it to them. So instead, the game ended and he became the hero, and they were no more than the oblivious citizens in need of his help.

"The mainland would be good, thanks," MJ said. Her voice was hoarse, and his heart broke at the sound.

He lifted them, just like he did any other person, and swung them over to the city. MJ was tense in his arms, but she didn't scream like she had when she knew it was him. He told her to wait, and went back for Ned.

"Can I escort you anywhere? The city can be dangerous at night." What was he doing? These were his friends, and he was talking to them like strangers. Like he was no more to them than the friendly neighbourhood Spider-Man.

"It's hardly night anymore. But sure."

So Peter walked with his two best friends through the slowly waking city, having an internal battle with himself. He couldn't tell them who he was. Not now. Not ever. They wouldn't remember anyway - Dr Strange was too powerful for his spell to fall apart like that. Right? But Peter couldn't shake the thought that made him come back, that sudden belief that the universe owed him one. Maybe things couldn't go back to the way things were, but he didn't have to come out of this situation with nothing. He could claw back a piece of his old life to bring with him into the future. It would be different- they would be different, but so was he. Maybe that wasn't a bad thing.

Before he could chicken out of it again, Peter started talking. He was good at that, and soon they were chatting and laughing like the past 24 hours hadn't been the worst day of their lives.

"Well, this is my stop." Ned paused in front of his house. Peter hadn't even noticed they'd arrived, he'd gotten so caught up in the conversation. He couldn't even remember what it had been about, and that was fine. He wanted this, he realised. He needed this.

"You guys are pretty cool," Peter told them. It was true, they'd stayed by his side even when faced with sorcerers and monsters from other realities. "Want to keep in touch?"

"Woah, is a superhero asking to be friends with us?"

"I mean, I literally have no other friends."

"I'm sure that's not true."

"On the contrary, it's more true than you could possibly know. Is that... a no?"

"Are you kidding?" Ned stared at him. "Dude, you are my new best friend whether you like it or not. Hey, maybe I can be your sidekick, or, like, your guy in the chair! I'm pretty good at computing and MJ knows some first aid, she could help you out if you're hurt, right MJ?"

And MJ wasn't nearly as enthused as Ned, but she didn't refuse Spider-Man's phone number when he offered it to her, and he knew that was as close to a reply as he was going to get.

"...and we'll have to come up with a secret handshake..." Ned was still talking animatedly.

He wouldn't have them any other way.


A/N: Yes, Autie, I am actually doing this. Prepare for more fix-its coming soon (is it cheating if I use blutack?)

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