Falling for You

Chapter 27 - Parenting Advice

Venti's POV

 "So... What should we do with them?"

 "You're asking like I should know, Barbatos."

 "You have a lot more experience with adepti than me, that's for sure."

 "Not with children. When they get to me, they would have already grown enough to fight to some extent. I have no experience with human children either."

 "We're getting nowhere like this."

 "How about asking Ping?" Cloud Retainer said suddenly.

 We both turned to look at her, waiting for an explanation.

 "When one was raising Shenhe, Ping was the one who told this one how to raise a human child. She should also be experienced with raising adepti." It looks like she calmed down enough to go back to her usual way of speaking.

 "That might work. Thank you, Cloud Retainer."

 "There's no need for thanks, one merely spoke of one's own experience. But Morax, what of their clothes-"

 "We can do that much." We both answered at the same time.

 Our pride has been hurt a little too much these past few minutes.

 I picked up Xiao with clothes and all, surrounding him with anemo energy. Slowly his clothes began to shrink till they finally fit. On the other side, Morax did the same for Childe.

 I spread my wings ready to fly to the harbor, but just then I felt Xiao wrap his hands around my neck and bury his face in my shoulder, letting out a small whimper.

 I looked down only to find Xiao looking teary-eyed at me.

 "What is it, Xiao? Are you not feeling well?" Could a one-year-old even understand this?

 "Try putting your wings away, Barbatos," Morax said looking closely at Xiao's reaction.

 I put away my wings, and surprisingly Xiao's face cleared up almost instantly.

 "I think we should walk," Morax said, Childe giggling as he sat on his shoulders.

 "Probably a good idea." I agreed, looking down at Xiao who was still clinging to my neck.

 And so we walked all the way to the harbor, climbing up the stairs till we reached Yujing Terrace.

 "Madame Ping." Morax greeted the old woman.

 "Good to see you're still in good health, Madame Ping!" Now here is someone I haven't seen in a while.

 "Oh, Zhongli. And this should be... Lord Barbatos if I'm not mistaken."

 "Since you call this guy Zhongli, you should just address me as Venti when we're in public as well. Wouldn't want news of the anemo archon hanging around in Liyue spreading throughout Teyvat." I joked, earning a small laugh from her.

 "Very well then, Venti. To what do I owe the pleasure of seeing both of you at the same time? I suppose you aren't here for a chat?" She asked, eyeing Childe and Xiao.

 "If you don't mind, we should move this conversation to your teapot." Momax pointed to the table. 

 The moment he finished speaking, I felt the world turn as we transferred into the small realm inside the teapot.

 "A little warning next time?" I held my head, trying to regain my balance while not letting Xiao fall.

 "Of course, I'll pay attention to it next time." She laughed, pulling a few chairs and a table out of nowhere.

 "Please, take a seat."

 "So, what happened to Xiao and the young fatui?" She asked directly.

 "It's like this..."

 We told her what happened, showing her the letter with Yae Miko's explanation. 

 "So... If I understand correctly, the two of them got blasted by some smoke made by the Raiden Shogun's little fox who meant it as a prank on Lord Barbatos." We nodded and she continued.

 "While the smoke would only turn your body into a child because you're an archon, Xiao and Childe turned into toddlers completely, both body and mind included." We nodded again.

 "And this will last for a month?"

 "Yes."

 "Oh what a mess you two have made." She sighed and neither of us could say anything.

 "I presume you came to ask me how to take care of those two?"

 Another nod.

"Okay then, let's start with Childe. The little fatui is human, I need you to remember that. No matter how strong he is, or rather was, right now he's just a human child."

 "Unlike adepti, humans need to eat and sleep. Children especially need plenty of food and rest. No sugar, no spicey dishes, no raw or lightly cooked food, and especially no nuts of any kind. He will also need enough rest. 14-17 hours of sleep per day on average, but he probably won't sleep for more than a few hours at a time."

 "The most important, however, is that you must keep an eye on him at all times. You can't let him out of your site, and if you absolutely must, leave him to someone you can trust. He's just at an age where he would start walking and exploring the world around him. This includes biting and licking things as well as trying to eat anything he gets his hands on, so pay attention he doesn't take anything he shouldn't into his mouth."

 Morax just continued to nod trying to remember everything.

 "As for Xiao, he's an adeptus, so unlike Childe, he doesn't need to eat or sleep. This however brings up another problem for you, Lord Barbatos. Because Xiao doesn't need to eat or sleep, it doesn't mean he won't want to. That's what you need to pay attention to."

 "As for the rest, just like with Childe, you'll need to keep an eye on Xiao at all times. From what I heard, right now you rule Mondstadt to some extent and are required to do certain things. I suggest you restrict your involvement in Mondstadt's matters for the next month as much as you can. Taking care of a child will be more than enough for you, Lord Barbatos."

 "So, Xiao doesn't need to eat or sleep, but he might want to. I also need to keep an eye on him and make sure he doesn't try eating anything he shouldn't. Did I get it all?"

 "Yes, that's about it. Oh before I forget it, you might want to give him some of your anemo energy every day. It would be good for his growth." She added.

 "Anemo energy..., got it."

 "Now that that's over, the four of you should go. The two of you have a lot to do and a certain someone looks like he's about to fall asleep any moment." She motioned to Childe, who was sitting on Morax's lap, yawning sleepily.

 "Yes, you're right. Thank you, Madame Ping."

 "Oh don't fret about it. The two of you may leave the children with me for the weekends if you wish. I know both of you have things to do." She offered.

 "Thanks, Madam Ping! I might take you up on that." I smiled. There are places you can't bring children to.

 "Feel free to do so, Lord Barbatos. You as well, Morax."

 "I will, thank you." MOrax thanked her as well.

 Holding the two children we started walking towards the exit of the teapot.

 "Don't forget to change the diapers!" Madam Ping's voice came from behind us.

 We both staggered, barely stopping ourselves from falling flat on our faces. We turned around looking at the laughing Madam Ping with horrified expressions.

 "Diapers?!"

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