"I'll go first. Please Mr. Alcantara. Huwag mo siyang bibiglain. She has a trauma, as much as possible manatili ka sa tabi niya at pakalmahin siya." rinig kong bilin ni Theo.
I still gawk somewhere and shivering in my own fear.
"I called tita and tito. Masyado silang malayo at ipinaabilin lang nila sa'kin na sabihin sa'yo ang gagawin." malamig na saad ni Theo.
He sighed and continue speaking, "I'm still mad for fucking bringing her trauma back. Mauna na'ko."
I felt Theo kiss me on my forehead and whisper, "I'll go first huh? I'll see you in the morning. I can't stay here, Polarbear."
I heard the door closed so i close my eyes tightly. I remember all the dark secret from past. I still scared about it.
Naramdaman ko ang marahan umupo sa tabi ko si Cloud. He carefully took my hand and tap it.
"I-im really sorry. H-hindi ko alam." he stutter and sighs heavenly, "L-lagi na lang kitang napapahamak. I'm really sorry."
Hindi ako sumagot at sinubukan pakalmahin ang sarili.
"I-i'll stay here a? i-i'll hug you. If... that's okay."
Nakiramdam siya at ilang saglit lang ay naramdaman ko na ang yakap niya. Isinubsob niya ang mukha ko sa dibdib niya. He tap my back, making me calm.
Masuyong hinaplos ang buhok ko. Ramdam ko ang bawat paghinga niya ng malalim.
"Y-you can reach out to me. I'm not gonna... j-judge you. If you're just comfortable to share." Maiingat na saad nito.
Little by little and hour passed and i calm down. I reach his cloth and held it tightly.
"I-i... had t-trauma." i started.
I felt him froze and starting to caress my hair again.
It's foundation day in my school when the guard let me and my brother out dahil may sasabihin si manong driver saamin.
We're walking at the sidewalk and jumping, doing the lining thing when a van stop and carry me together with my brother.
I was screaming and my brother's crying. Hindi ko alam ang nangyayari. It was just all of sudden.
I was in sixth grade and my brother is in grade two. Wala kaming kamuang muang nang makidnap kami.
They force me to sniff the handkerchief. At nang mawalan kami ng malay ng kapatid ko ay hindi ko na alam ang nangyayari.
When i woke up i saw my brother lying and his hand and feet are tied. There's a masking tape in his mouth.
Napatingin ako sa paligid. It looks like an abandoned building. Maraming kable may mga sapot sa gilid, marume, madilim and a lot of bad guy surrounded us.
Takot na takot ako lalo na't para sa kapatid ko. He's too young for that shit!
They did hurt me but I never let them hurt my brother but still they left us a trauma.
They force me to sing in front of them.
"Dali na. Ang balita namin maganda ang boses mo." a fatty guy shouted.
I look at him, pleading. But that wasn't the end. They ripped my clothes, showing my upper body without clothes.
He held my chin and give me a microphone. Sa sobrang takot ay nanginginig akong kumanta para sa kanila.
My brother is crying. Hindi siya makasigaw dahil sa takip sa bibig. They let my brother see me naked and forced.
And while i was singing stuttering they get a mannequin with a blood. They stabbed it and making me and my brother believe that they're going to do it with us.
Maraming pekeng dugo ang nagkalat. They even put some of that on my face. Sa sobrang takot ay napaiyak na ako. Sobrang lakas ng iyak ko at naging dahilan para mainis sila at masapak nila ako.
They're about to do it with my brother when i bite them. Inis na itinulak nila ako at nahampas ako sa matigas na bato. I look at my brother crying so hard.
Pinilit kong 'wag pumikit. Praying my family find and help us.
Hindi naman ako nabigo dahil akmang hahampasin nila ako ng biglang may nagpaputok.
Lolo get my brother from the side while my father beg the guy holding me to let go of me.
Nang masigurong wala na ang kapatid ko ay do'n ko lang ininda ang sakit sa ulo ko. There's a small wounds at my back head, i started to feel bleeding in my head from being bumped in the rock.
Papa even cry begging to that guy. Until i lost my consciousness. The next day i wake up there's no bad guy na.
Mama beside me. I look at her and saw her cry. Niyakap ako nito ng mahigpit.
Pero nagwala naman ako. Hindi ako tumigil kakaiyak hangga't hindi ko nakikita ang kapatid kong lalaki.
"T-that's was the time... i got my trauma... with my brother." my tear drop on my cheeks.
"M-my poor brother... h-he wasn't able to talk again. A-ang alam niya lang at kayang sabihin ay 'Ate'."
That day i was gone wild frustratingly wanting to see my brother, i cried the most. Walang nakapagpigil sa'kin kundi ang gamot na itinurok ng doktor para makatulog ako.
Nang magising ay saka lang kumalma nga makitang nakayakap ang kapatid ko sa'kin.
That day he started not to speak. Nahihirapan siya. All he know to say is 'Ate' hindi siya umaalis sa tabi ko at siya ring nagpapakalma sa'kin dahil ayoko rin mawalay rito.
"I-i'm sorry." tanging sagot ni Cloud at niyakap ako ng mahigpit.
"T-that's why I'm afraid of so many things. Blood, sing, dark and sudden voice from behind. I-i can't... mabilis na bumabagsak ang dugo ko pag naaalala ang mga bagay na i-iyon." saad ko, nanginig pa rin.
Pinakalma niya ako gamit ang haplos at yakap nito.
Hindi ko mawari kung kailan nung huling manumbalik ang pagkatakot ko.
"I-I'll promise. I'll never leave you." bulong nito.
Nilunok ko ang sinabi niya. Hindi ko alam kung ano pa mararamdaman ko.
Lahat ng kinatatakutan ko ay naramdaman ko ng dahil sa kaniya. I don't blame him pero hindi ko kaya 'yong sakit. Hindi lang naman ang sakit na maaalala ang nakaraan. Pati na rin ang sakit na malamang hindi ako kaya nitong mahalin.
I sigh and accept it.
YOU ARE READING
Constellation Under the Plane
RandomThey were arranged marriage. None of them wanted to get married because of their personal things in life. So they came up with the deal. When Polaris had her dream and Cloud had his company, they got separated. But what if one of them fall for the...