Fighting Desires

57

Claytons POV

It's been three days since the..uh...incident?...

Whatever you want to call it.

The day after it happened, I came downstairs with Harriet and everyone was acting all weird.

Everyone was asking if I was okay, which is fair enough. But then I made a joke to Leo, and instead of insulting me back he smiled and patted my shoulder.

I took Sage's breakfast again, he didn't even try to take it back. Nor did he glare at me.

I slapped Elijah in the arm like usual, he didn't complain or even try to hit me back.

They were all acting like I was a bomb that was going to explode at any minute.

They were treating me like I was fragile.

Like I was weak.

So I've been avoiding all of them ever since.

Apart from Harriet, Charlotte and my nieces of course.

Harriet has been through shit. She knows how horrible it is when people treat you differently after you open up or break down.

And Charlotte doesn't know what happened, therefore, is treating me normally.

In all honesty, I have no clue what happened that day in the kitchen. It was like I was reliving it. Nothing like that has ever happened before. And I won't admit it to anyone, but I'm truly scared it might happen again.

I want everyone to treat me normally. I want everything to go back to normal.

I just want to forget it ever happened, but I can't because they act like it's going to happen again.

And I hate it.

I'm not avoiding Quinn. She hasn't treated me any differently, but she's with Elijah most of the time, who is on my list of people I'm currently avoiding.

That's why for the last three days I've been mostly sitting in my room.

Harriet did try to get me to go down or try to talk to them, but she never pushed once I told her I didn't want to. Which I was grateful for.

I did feel bad though. It's her easter break as well, and the last thing she probably wants to do is stay cooped up in my room with me.

Although I am great company, it is not the best thing to stay isolated with one person for a long period of time.

So she goes off with Quinn and the twins, while I do my own thing.

Is it currently...eleven pm? I don't even know to be honest. I'm in our gym listening to music, getting my frustration out on the punching bag.

I would prefer to come here during the night. Nothing is better than working out in the middle of the night.

But Sage has bad insomnia, and when he can't sleep, he comes here.

And he's also on my list of people I'm avoiding for the time being.

I don't know where Dad is. I think he's in one of our other houses. He does that a lot. When me and him have a bad fight, mam sends him away to work somewhere else to give me space.

Mam's oblivious to the abuse he put us through. As kids, he would try to avoid hitting our faces. And the odd time when he did, he would say it either happened when we were sparing or it happened on a mission.

Although Mam did hate it, Dad told her his dad did the same to him. And that it was how every kid in the mafia was trained.

He also sent her away on loads of holidays when we were growing up. And he'd tell us if we ever told her, he'd kill her.