Who You Say I Am (A Jai Courtney Fanfic)

Chapter 94-Meg

***This is another double posting. If you didn't read the previous chapter, step back one. Happy New Year!***

Meg

I rise early Wednesday to get ready for work.  I try to grin because I should be happy about this but I feel like I'm just not the easygoing person that I used to be.  I just don't feel like smiling anymore. 
I step into the building and I'm welcomed at check-in by Rachel again but Wendy—the building director—joins her.  She greets me with a hug.  I grin a little and it feels nice to receive the affection. 
"We're so glad you're back," she tells me.  "How's your energy level?"
"Good," I say.  "I've had more energy the last month."
"That's wonderful news.  Why don't you put your things away and I'll help you ready the room and introduce you?" she suggests. 
I agree and lock up my things in a locker. I come back out to the desk and Wendy gives me a new ID. She reused my photo from my membership ID. I put the lanyard with the laminated tag over my head and I smile a little feeling like I've missed this. She gives me a stack of paperwork to fill out but I can turn it in later so I set it aside for now.
We step into one of the studios together and it's still empty. She shows me some updated options in music and I actually like them. Wendy gives me some new printouts with various exercise movements listed—some are what I'm familiar with and some are newer ideas. I'll definitely have to check those out with the links later. It's all in the computer system here with demonstrations. We chat a bit and the class begins to trickle in. When everyone has arrived, Wendy introduces me to the group. I wave and greet everyone. They all seem happy and energetic. After Wendy leaves, I overhear someone whisper to another that they're glad I'm here on time. I didn't ask about the previous part-timer but apparently they must've been habitually late.
I decide to change the atmosphere with some energetic music I have preselected. This is the high impact aerobics after all. It grabs everyone's attention and I begin to give instructions. I see several excited faces and a few smiles. They start to follow as we warm up for the high intensity workout we're about to do. I notice Wendy peek her head in the door and she looks pleased. After the warm-up, the music picks up the pace even more. I lead them all in an almost walking type dance. It's my own style—a mix between what the company provides and several other aerobics routines available. It's high impact, yet fun. I see some people laughing, some clap along to the beat. It's an enjoyable routine and I'm glad they're having a good time. I always try to make workouts amusing. I notice Wendy peek her head in several more times throughout the session and since the door is open, I actually get a crowd of observers. When the time is up, we do a cool down and stretch. I announce that we've completed the workout and several people cheer. Some clap. I laugh in surprise. I realize the class isn't full but they're still paying customers. I tell them all I'll see them on Monday. They smile and wave gathering their things.
I turn the music off and tidy up the room before I go to the locker room to shower only to see a handful of people in there surprisingly. I shower quickly and come out in a towel. I get dressed and dry my hair before exiting and returning to the desk. I cover for Rachel to take her lunch break. In between helping guests, I fill out my paperwork. It's all standard really with tax information, company policies, and whatnot. I complete it. Afterward, I go through some of the new exercises and music on a computer planning my next several lessons for high and low impact days.
Rachel comes back and I take a small break. Since I'm a part-timer, I don't get a full lunch break. I sit in our lounge that's open to everyone. It has a couple tables along with vending machines for snacks and drinks. I eat my sandwich and vegetables in the lounge as I look on my phone. I realize I can't access my social media. I'll have to mention something to my dad. Maybe he can help me since he works in computer security. I surf the internet instead. I overhear two women enter the lounge from behind me. Their voices are familiar and as soon as I hear their conversation, I recognize instantly who they are. They're Jai's new stalkers. I was hoping to never see them but I guess that's not going to happen. I'm grateful my back is to them. They grab something from the vending machines and sit down at a far table. I rise and leave, going back to my station. I sit with Rachel until the end of my shift. I clock out and head home.
My mom is in the kitchen prepping for an early dinner. I wash my hands and join her.
I slice some carrots and celery while she handles the chicken and the biscuits. She's making a stew.
"So... Mom?" I start. She hums a reply. "I couldn't access my social media today. Do you think Dad could help me figure out what's going on with it?"
"I can help you, sweetheart," she says.
"You? With computers?" I question skeptically.
"Spencer hacked your account," she admits.
"When was this?" I question.
"About the time you left for Jamaica," she says. "Can you handle me telling you more?"
I nod since my problems with Spencer seem like a cakewalk compared to Jai. I feel like I can handle Spencer easily enough, with Jai... I break down in ugly, sobbing tears. I listen in as my mom explains how he got into my account and wrote some nasty things, altered pictures, harassed my friends, and caused all kinds of trouble. She reported him and got possession of the account. She says she removed everything he'd done and offers to show me. I tell her I don't really care to know and she gives me access to my account. She changed the password and I keep it as it is since I struggle with creating those.
We let dinner cook and I look over my social media account. I see the Jamaica trip on the church page and I click on it. I smile longingly at the experiences I recall from these photos. I see one with Jai and me together... and I start to cry. My mom hugs me. I sob into her shirt and she consoles me speaking soothing words.
When dinner is ready, I eat the comforting stew before leaving for church.  Mikey and I go together.  He's quiet.  I play with the dial in his truck and select the station.  I sigh and hum along softly looking out the window as we go.  It's dark out. 
"How're you doing?" he asks gently. 
"I'm okay," I shrug even though he's driving.  I'm really not my best but I can't complain. 
"I talked to him, you know," he says biting his lip. 
"Can we not talk about this?" I plead. 
"Alright," he nods.  "So, where've you been the last couple days?  You're never home."
"Shouldn't you have been in class?" I question. 
"I haven't been sleeping too well," he admits.  "I got the notes from a friend."
There's silence between us. 
"Not going to tell me what you're up to?" he asks surprised. 
"I got hired at the Y again.  It's only part-time, though.  And I've been doing some lab assisting at school," I explain. 
"Are you using the lab?" he asks. 
"Yeah," I admit. 
"That's good," I see him smile and glance at me.  "So... when we get there, you know they're going to ask," he points out. 
"Yeah," I agree quietly. 
"What do you want me to say?" he questions hesitantly. 
"The truth," I reply and leave it at that. 
He nods and remains silent as we pull into the parking lot. 
I sigh shakily taking a deep breath before climbing out of his truck.  We mount the stone staircase up to the front entrance.  I see smiling happy faces greeting everyone in the lobby.  I feel so welcome.  I see Pastor Ben and his wife, Diana. He hugs me and asks me where Jai is. I immediately start crying. He and Dianna hold me as I cry. They eventually walk me to a side room—the nursing mothers room since it's currently unoccupied and usually is empty on Wednesdays. They ask me what's going on, if Jai's hurt. I shake my head. Mikey does the explaining. Pastor Ben looks surprised but nods in understanding. I don't think he ever fully grasped the situation until now. He leaves for the start of the service but Diana stays to comfort me as I wind down, along with my brother who rubs my back in consolation. I eventually get up when I've calmed and join the service.
Mikey stays by my side. We sit off to the side where a few seats still remain empty. We're able to worship for part of the service and then Pastor Ben begins his sermon. He speaks about patience, how the Holy Spirit empowers us with it. He explains how God wants us to be willing to wait on His timing, that there are certain times that just aren't right and we have to practice patience. We must understand that his timing is always preferable and we have to know that he's in control. He tells us that God wants the best for his children and we have to be willing to listen. He tells us that when God says no, it's a word of protection on us. I frown but nod. I know God's will is good, which is why I'm following him—even though I'm struggling. Next, Pastor Ben speaks on being willing to obey God and he smiles at me. He explains how hard it is when we want to do what we want to do. It's an internal struggle but if we follow God's will then we've chosen the greatest, most successful path for our lives. He tells us that when God says no, he's telling us he loves us. Being patient is what helps us build good relationships. He explains that God will make our answers clear if we ask him and relax.
I sigh and close my eyes. I feel like this sermon, although I'm sure it's for the masses, spoke directly to me. I feel more confident and able to trust in God and wait on his timing. I doubt I will ever stop loving Jai, even if he never changes. He will always have a place in my heart but I will never cease praying for him. I open my eyes and realize Pastor Ben has started praying. I close my eyes and agree with him. He finishes the prayer but then asks for everyone to pray for me and Jai. He explains how Jai returned home and really needs our prayers, that I'm struggling, too. He prays a blessing over us, asking God for guidance and a special touch on both of our lives. He asks for God to give Jai vision and clarity in his life, to walk with him in his trials. I'm so moved. Then everyone comes over to me and lays their hands on me. After some time, I feel someone else join in and I hear Gale praying as well. I feel so much love and comfort from everyone around me but most of all, I feel God's touch on my life. I ask him to give me the strength to endure.