Tween Idle

September 4, 1998

Dear diary,

I HATE SUGAR PINK! I HATE HER SO MUCH! SHE'S A B*TCH AND A WHORE AND A CUNT AND I HATE HER! AND I HATE HER STUPID FRIENDS TOO! But before I go on I realized I havent told you the story of Someone Else's Heart. So basically its like Romeo and Juliet and its about a prince named Ron who's in love with a servant girl named Julie but Ron's father who is played by Calvin dosent approve of her. And Julie's abusive step mother (played by Sugar's friend Bianca Storm) and abusive step sister (played by Sugar's other friend Lisa Schultz) dont approve of Ron either. And the scene Im in is where Ron runs away to a forest with a bunch of talking trees. Im one of them obviously.

Anyways back to the story. I saw Sugar singing happy birthday to Sasha with Bianca, Lisa and Candy. Theyre considered the "cool kids." Cool kids my ARSE! WHAT WERE SASHA AND CANDY EVEN DOING THERE? THEYRE NOT EVEN IN THE DAM PLAY! And guess what else? THEY ALL HAD GOOD VOICES. But none of their voices were as good as mine. They were kinda quiet and were all using their head voice as my choir teacher calls it. Boring! I had to show them I was better than them. And I know its wrong to show off, but I only did it to piss off Sugar. I didnt wanna sing happy birthday to that mean girl. I only did it to piss off Sugar, and to show off of course. And so I used my chest voice to sing as loud as I could and tried to drown out their voices. "HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR SASHA, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU" I sang confidantly. I made sure to add a little riff to it. They all went silent. When I was finished, they all turned around and looked at me weird.

"The f*ck are you doing?" said Sasha. "Singing happy birthday, cause thats what you guys are doing" I said. "Would you stop already?" Sugar yelled which made me jump a little. "Stop what?" I asked nonshalantly. "Stop showing off and acting like youre the best dam singer in the world, its f*cking annoying" she said angrily. The others agreed. "If anything youve got the worst smelling pussy in the world" said Lisa. The others laughed. "Not anymore, I sprayed hello kitty perfume on it last night so you can shut your mouth!" I said proudly. They all went silent, and then they began to laugh. They laughed so hard and so loud. "YOU SPRAYED PERFUME ON YOUR COOCH?" said Candy who was laughing the hardest of the group. She ALWAYS laughs the hardest. "SHUT UP!" I yelled as tears began to well up in my eyes. I ran out of the auditorium crying as they continued to laugh. I heard Bianca yell "Smelly puss AND a yeast infection? Damn, pick a f*cking struggle!" as I was running out.

I ran to the bathroom and went in the stall to cry. That was the second time I'd cried in a bathroom stall all year. As I sat down, I felt a wetness in my pants.  For the past few months I've been getting this sticky white substance thing in my underwear for some reason. And so I pulled down my pants and looked down at my underwear to see if thats what it was. AND GUESS WHAT? It was. But this time it was thicker. It kinda looks like lotion. My hands had been dry all day and I didnt have any lotion. And so I rubbed the lotion subtance on my hands cause it was all I had.