Tween Idle

September 7, 1998

Dear diary,

I HATE MY MOM! I HATE HER SO MUCH! SHE DOESNT CARE ABOUT ME AT ALL. Sometimes I think about running away from home. And I know for a fact she wont care to look for me. Sometimes I imagine me and May running away from home together. Her parents are always fighting and she comes to my house as an escape. She tells me she wishes she could run away. I feel really bad for her becuse I know what its like to have divorced parents (her parents arent divorced yet but I just have a feeling they will, I didnt tell her that though) I havent seen my dad since I was like 5. Can you BELEVE how young I was? And now look how old I am. Time freaking flys.

So today my mom took me and May to JC Penny. May and I were singing Let Ms Take You There when we were walking in the store. She's actually a pretty good singer and aspires to be a singer one day, like me! Once we were in the store, I noticed that it was kinda crowded. And I was thinking. WHAT IF THERE WAS A MUSIC AGENCY THERE AND THEY HEARD ME SINGING AND GOT ME A RECORD DEAL OF WHATEVER. And so I loudly belted my notes hoping a music agency would notice me. My mom turned to me and said "Electra we've been over this" IN FRONT OF MY FRIEND? SERIOUSLY MOM? "I was just singing mom, whats the big deal?" I said. "You cant sing loudly in a store where there's people-" she said until I interuppted her. "Mom you dont understand, what if there's like a music agency-" But then she interuppted ME. "Electra there are no music agencies around-" And so I interuppted her again. "BUT WHAT IF? And its my life not yours so stop telling me what to do!" I said. "Electra stop it!" she snapped. "MOM YOURE EMBARRASING ME, IM WITH A FRIEND!" I yelled. "Youre embarrasing ME right now" she said. EXCUSE ME? OH NO SHE DID NOT. "You know what? Im gonna go shopping with MY FRIEND and Im not gonna let you ruin it for me!" I yelled as I grabbed May's arm and we walked away.

When May and I got to the clothing isle I turned to her. "Im so sorry about my mom, sometimes she can be kind of a biatch" I said. "Yeah" said May. "Like honestly, she dosent know what its like to be me" I said. Then May and I began to look through the clothes. "These are all SO ugly" I said. "I know" said May. I grabbed a plaid shirt and showed it to her. "Look at this one" I said. "EWW OH MY GOD" she said. "I KNOW RIGHT" I said as I put it back. Then May grabbed the UGLIEST DRESS I'D EVER SEEN. "EWWW WHAT IS THAT, OH MY GOD IM GONNA BARF" I said. Then after what felt like FOREVER finding a good shirt. I finally found it. The perfect shirt.

IT WAS A LUCKY STAR SHIRT. IM NOT EVEN KIDDING. "Oh my god oh my god oh my god" I said to May. "YOU FOUND A LUCKY STAR SHIRT?" she said. "YEAH" I said. "YOU SHOULD GET IT" said May. "I WILL!" I said as I jumped up and down excitedly. Then I said "I wonder if Matthew is into Lucky" "You sure do talk about him a lot" May laughed. "So? What about it?" I said. The shirt was only in one size, XXL but that still couldve worked. I couldve worn it as a dress or something. But unfortunatly my mom didnt see it that way when we went in the fitting room to try it on.

"Its too big" she said. "SO? I can wear it as a dress" I said. "And its expensive too" she said. "I'll buy it with my own money" I said. "It wont look good on you" she said. WOW MOM. "SO YOURE SAYING I DONT LOOK GOOD" I said. "I didnt say that at all sweetie" she said. "DONT CALL ME SWEETIE IM NOT A FREAKING BABY" I yelled. "Electra what did I tell you about yelling in the store?" she said. May heard us cuse she was sitting outside waiting. "Youre not buying the shirt and thats final. And who even is this Lucky person?" my mom said. "SHE'S A SINGER, GOD MOM YOU DONT KNOW ANYTHING" I yelled. "Why dont we try on this shirt?" she said as she grabbed a plaid shirt on a hanger. And guess what? IT WAS THE UGLIEST SHIRT I'D EVER SEEN.

"EWW IM NOT TRYING THAT ON" I yelled. "Electra you need new clothes" she said. "Well I wanted the Lucky shirt but you said no" I said. She made me try on the stupid shirt. "It looks cute!" she said. I looked in the mirror. It did NOT look cute. "I hate it" I said. "Electra" she said. "I HATE IT! AND IM NEVER GONNA WEAR IT SO STOP MAKING ME WEAR IT YOU CUNT!" I yelled angrily. My mom gasped. "What did you just call me?" she said. "A CUNT. I CALLED YOU A CUNT." I said as I took the shirt off. "Electra do you have any idea what that means?" she said. "DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT NO MEANS? I SAID NO TO THE SHIRT SO STOP FORCING ME TO WEAR IT!" I said as I put my regular shirt back on. "Electra we're in public! Quit yelling!" she snapped. "YOURE BEING EMOTIONALY ABUSIVE RIGHT NOW!" I yelled. Becuse she was! "Electra you dont even know what that means!" she risponded. "OH YEAH? WELL YOU DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE ME! I HATE YOU!" I yelled as I kicked the stall door as I ran out of the fitting room. Then I sat down next to where May was sitting and curled up in a ball. "You okay?" asked May. "I HATE MY MOM!" I said angrily. "Yeah I heard everything" said May. Then she began to laugh. "You called your mom a cunt?" she said. "Becuse she's acting like one" I said. "My mom would kill me if I called her that" she said. I sighed. "Sorry my mom's being such an a-hole today" I said. "Its fine" said May.

When I got home I ran upstairs to my room and slammed the door. I could hear my mom yell "NO SLAMMING DOORS IN THIS HOUSE YOUNG LADY!" "LEAVE ME ALONE IM HORMONAL!" I yelled back. Then I began to cry into my pillow. I didnt get the Lucky shirt and my mom bought the ugly plaid shirt even though I told her I DIDNT WANT IT! Im just never gonna wear it. May ended up buying candy with her own money but my mom said I couldnt get any becuse of how I was acting. I HATE HER SO MUCH! Tommorow Im gonna give her the silent treatmant all day.