Assistant

6

There have been many visitors the past 4 days to tell me everything will be okay. Minerva has told me to take all the time needed to properly heal, but how can I heal from a shattered heart? Especially from someone who was very important to me.

Everytime I hear a knock on the door, my first guess has to be Professor Lupin, just waiting for me to open it, which means I have to get up from my bed. I would tell him to come inside but my voice has been weak ever since the day my heart broke into pieces.

Opening the door, I see Lupin with a tray of food for me to eat. I haven't gone out of my room since Saturday night. It's already Wednesday afternoon but I don't have any motivation to go outside.

"You will need to get some sunlight soon. It's not healthy for you to stay in here by yourself." Lupin enters the room to set the food down on the coffee table.

"I know." I close the door before going to the couch to sit and slouch with my knees close to my chest.

"You didn't deserve this my dear. I'm deeply sorry." He says with a soothing voice.
"If you need anything, please don't be afraid to ask."

"Thank you for always visiting me. I really appreciate it." I say as I wipe another tear. He nods and begins to walk out the door. When I hear the door close, I let out a sigh before heading back to my bedroom. I sit at the edge of my bed for a bit before deciding to take a shower. I definitely stink.

I turn on the shower after getting my pajamas ready. I'm not planning to go out today so I'll just get ready for bed again.
After my long warm shower, I dry myself completely but I tend to think about what Lupin said. Maybe I do need some sunlight.

Instead of changing into my pajamas, I grab a new set of clothes for a cloudy day.
Just a pair of black jeans, a white tank top, and light sweater will do for today. I'll wear my flats too.

When I'm ready, I open the door and step out into the hallway. No one is outside during this time since classes are still in session.
On my way to the front doors, I see Minerva walk by with a student by her side. Probably got into trouble already. I wait until they're no longer in sight so I can get through the front doors.

Once the coast is clear, I speed walk to the front doors without anyone noticing me.
I quickly open the door and step outside. It does feel nice out here, especially with the wind blowing at a perfect speed.

Instead of walking around the school grounds, I decide to head over to the black lake. I haven't been there in years.
It took a while to get there with my flats but it was worth the effort for walking on grass.

I stand close to the water and take in a deep breath to relieve my mind. There's no sunlight yet but Lupin had a point. Just being out here alone helps me refresh my mind.
I don't know how I'm going to handle Astronomy class if everything I've told the students came from my grandpa's knowledge. He taught me many things I did not know about and I wish he was here right now.

It was hard for me to accept his passing in the beginning but I know many people lose loved ones everyday. I'm not the only one suffering. It's easier to deny it than to accept it sometimes.

My grandpa would want me to get over it and continue on with my life but how can I if Astronomy reminds me of him? It reminds me of all the times we were outside past my curfew just looking at the stars. He would point to the brightest star he could find and tell me the exact same thing all the time. I would even repeat it after hearing it many nights in a row.
I miss him so much.

"Not a wise choice."

I turn around and see Professor Snape standing several feet away from me. I look back at the lake and notice where I'm standing. If I took one small step forward I will surely fall in.