The Silhouette [ 18+ ]

16. Denial

After I talked to Julius the other night. And the deal we had made.
It all circled my head.

Julius.
The deal.
Rori.
My father.
All the things I neglected.

I mean no one said it was easy but no one said it would be this hard.

I lay in my bed the day after Julius and I met. Reconsidering the deal. Maybe it was best we just stick to our plan and I become some pitty little housewife.

But she always found her way back to me. I couldn't forget about her.

What's so special about her? So special my body craves her, my heart longs to be with her.

And then all the screaming from my father floods back in like a tsunami. Wiping out any hope of ever getting another chance with her.

I said I'd forget. But she's hard to forget.

Looked down at my hand. My ring finger bare for now. I played with my hands. Twirling my thumbs back and forth.

Everything was sinking in now. The denial was over. I can't deny all this for the rest of my life.
I can't deny the fact that Julius probably loves someone else.

I can't deny the fact that she and I met for a reason. Everything happens for a reason. Right?

I can't deny the fact that I missed her. I tried. I swear I tried. Maybe knowing my luck she'll be somewhere I am soon enough.

I hope so...

__________________________________

- a week later -

It was starting to warm up outside. The trees replenish their leaves. My mother had her array of flowers scattered throughout her flower beds in the yard.

Julius was back again this week. Only for two days, I think. I frankly don't remember.

I've gotten used to him showing up now. He's alright I suppose. Rori hasn't called me since he was last week. Probably easiest. Makes it easy to think.

Though thinking didn't last long in this house. Speaking of the devil Julius was here. He just walks himself in.

I walked down to greet him. He gave me a gentle kiss on my forehead. He does this so our parents shut up.
It's the last thing we want to hear about. Plus there are cameras all over the main areas. The foyer is one of them. I know someone is watching us.
How does Auggie escape? There are no cameras upstairs, for privacy purposes.

"Hey, how have you been?" He asks as we walk out of the foyer, and to the small garden in the backyard. Our favourite spot.
"I've been better. Feeling tired and stressed."
"Yeah I understand"

We walked silently the rest of the way to the little gazebo in the center of the garden. My mom's little fairy fantasy.

Julius then pulled a small black box from his pant pocket. I knew what it was. "Your father asked me to." Is all he said to me. I nodded.

He opened the box. A small diamond ring. Thank God it wasn't flashy. I didn't want some huge stone in my hand.

He stuttered again as he asked " So Valentia Miller will you be my wife"

The word wife. Finally being said out loud. With a ring. In the calmest romantic spot in my yard. I mean we didn't have a choice to say no or anything so a quiet "yes" came out of me.
His warm hands slid the ring up my ring finger. There it was. The proof. Everything and anything we do now. We do it together.

His face looked worried and disappointed. As did mine.

As his hand slipped from mine it felt weak. He said he needed a moment to get something to drink. So as he walked back towards the house. I took a moment for myself.

My eyes felt glossy. I can't cry. Not now. I placed my head in my hands, letting out a deep sigh.

I wish she were her. She'd make everything better. Her raspy voice. Her soft skin. Her dirty blonde hair. Her stunning eyes.

I wanted her.
I need her.

But for now. It's him and me.

Why couldn't it just be her and I?