We're Trying

City Girl

Jess

Devon, Aidan, and I arrive at the party about an hour after it started. Aidan was really just a last minute add on because the other guys couldn't come. I kind of wish I stayed home as well as I look at the big house that was like an hour away from the school. Claire goes to a whole other school in another district. And im not suprised by this because she seems like a girl you would automatically notice .

"How do you know Claire?" I ask as we head inside the house.

It's the same as every other party I've been to, except the only chips are the purple dorrito bags and Claire stands in the middle of all of it wearing a little black dress.

Devon shrugs. "Just followed her and she followed me back." He looks at Claire's black waves. "I told you she's bad," He says elbowing both me and Aidan.

Aidan eyes her. "Yeah she is."

Claire comes over to us or really me with a wide smile. Devon and Aidan seperate and go over by the drinks. Claire keeps her concentration on me. "You're not a party person are you?" I can barely make out this over the bass booming.

I shake my head. "No not really." I reach to shove my hands in my pockets but stop when I feel the fabric and realize these are the pocketless pants.

"You want me to show to you around or do you just want to hang out with me." Her voice gets softer on that last syllable.

I look around the boys and girls on the couch and in the corner on their phones. "I'll just hang out with you."

I spent the rest of the party looking for Devon and Aidan. When Claire is boring me with her plans about going to Hunter I see Aidan down something from a solo cup and cringe. He looks at me afterwards and I shake my head. I think about all the chores I already did at home when the music gets louder and more people pile into the house. I think about my time at the party with Rose and how it was so different. Claire and I are together but the rest of the party is still here. When Rose was with me she made everyone go away.

Claire gets closer to me on the couch. "You know I've done all the talking you should tell me about yourself." Her perfume smells like a sour fruit.

"I'm Jess, I skate," I say.

"Thats it," she says softly and somehow her perfume gets stronger.

I nod. Her smiles goes away. "Am I ugly or something, like whats going on here?"

"You're not ugly." She nods and I don't think she ever thought she was ugly, she just wanted me to say it.

Her hand falls on my thigh. "Was it a breakup?"

I look down at her hand and see Aidan and Devon by the dorrito bags. "Something like that." I stand up. "Look my friend is drunk, I've got to get him home," I lie.

Claire looks back at Devon and Aidan. I mouth "act drunk,"to Aidan and right on cue he falls on Devon's shoulder. Claire shakes her head. "Some people cant control their liqour, it's embarrassing," she says. Some girl calls her over to the stairs and she follows her.

Aidan pretends his body is flaccid and Devon and I carry him out the house. "didn't go so well did it?" Devon asks when we reach the sidewalk.

"She's not my type."

Aidan looks back at the house. "She's fine though."

"Then why don't you try and talk to her," I ask.

Devon laughs and elbows Aidan. "Cause homeboy aint got no game."

"How did you score Mia," Aidan asks as we start walking to Devon's car.

Devon laughs. "I aint score her, she's not a fucking basketball game, plus if you want to know ask  Jess." He elbows me and smiles, and I know are little beef is over. "I saved her from one of those can I have a hug mutherfuckers." 

Devon continues to tell the small story of him and Mia's romance and we go into the car. Devon gives Aidan the aux and we learn he listens to glee covers and 2016 rap. Aidan tells us to trust him on Santana's cover of Nutbush city limits and we let him play it. Aidan mumbles along and then Fuck Ugly God comes on. Just like I expected Devon knows all the words because in 2016 he was the one pushing the Ugly God agenda since Black and Milds. Devon drops us off at home and I go home with a smile I didn't know I had. I have my friends back, and while I would like to be making out with Rose, I'm happy.

Jess

The real weeks of torture are when the school lets you have a taste of break for a week, just for you to come back to everything being slower and long and more boring. Everyone practically runs out of my third period class and I link arms with Ella who is already talking about something.

"I think I would do very well in a brigerton society, which afterall is just a society in 1818, but in Brigerton black people are actually humans so I'd have a better chance being happy there."

I try my best to catch up to her words even though they're all scrambled. "why the fuck would you want to live in 1818."

She holds onto my arm harder as we walk into the patio. "I said not the real 1818, but Brigerton 1818, I think I could be a diamond but only if the queen doesn't have an obsession with white girls."

"Yeah," is all I say. I look over at Devon and the guys and then back at Ella's linked arm. "Are you good?" I ask.

"Why wouldn't I be?" She quickly rushes past my question and back to her statement. "I think it would be fun being a princess besides of the raging misogyny and objectification." I nod and Ella guides us to our usual table. I think we're about to go into a deep conversation but someone pats me on the shoulder and Ella stops talking about how the dresses in Brigerdon will make her boobs look huge.

I turn my head and see it's Aidan. I look back at where Devon and the other guys are sitting and there are smiles on all of their faces. Aidan peers over me. "Devon wants you to sit with them," he says.

Ella looks back at the group. "Does Devon not know how to open his fucking mouth."

The boy laughs some more and I look Ella in her eyes. In that telepahthic twin language she tells me she's fine and her eyes start running around the patio. Her eyes fall on Jamari who looks like he didn't fucking sleep last night.

Ella

When my eyes land on Jamari he starts walking to my table and he sits right in front of me.

"You got a man?" he asks and points to the necklace around my neck.

"Since when is a chain a representation of if someome is in a relationship."

Jamari shrugs. "I don't know, I thought you were like a city girl you fuck a nigga and take his chain."

I touch the silver around my neck. "I got these for Jess and I for our birthday, and it's a necklace not a chain."

Jamari nods and manspreads some more. I spot a string of rusted silver around his neck as well. His looks like its been around his neck for years. "Do you want me to take your chain?"

He runs his fingers around the silver. "Happy late birthday."

I stare right into his eyes that sit above his grayish eyebags. "You didn't answer my question."

He holds my hand that sits on the table. His thumb runs over the lavender polish and I bite the inside of my mouth to stop myself from smiling. The way he's holding my hand it's like we're in Brigerton and he's about to ask me to marry after only talking to me for one day. "I didn't answer your question because I wanted to tell you happy late birthday." He continues the rubbing and his voice lowers. "Say thank you."

"Thank you."

Its like he's reading my mind because he goes back to my question. "You can take it anyime you want, but im not going to make it easy." The bell rings and he disconnets our hands.

I can't help myself. "You should sleep more, you look terrible." The words come out harsh as freshmen scramble to go to their fourth period classes. I wish I was better at social cues. He doesn't seem hurt by my words but I don't want to risk it. "But you're still hot and I like you."

He nods. "Good, we're on the same page."