Sanmos angst/whump collection

Muffled Screams

Sanford was screaming again.

Not out loud, no no no. He didn't want to be more annoying that he already was. He was screaming into his pillow. The pain, it was too much. The pain of losing Deimos. His best friend. Or, maybe they were something else...?

Sanford had to admit, every time he saw the technician's smile, his heart would beat faster, and his face would heat up. And they'd held hands before, and when they did, Deimos couldn't make eye contact with him and seemed to be flustered.

But they would never have those types of moments again. Because Deimos was gone.

Sanford knew that Deimos would of wanted him to stay strong, to keep going after he was gone. But it was hard. It was hard to find a reason to live when the person you loved the most was gone.

Tears poked at the edges of his eyelids. Don't cry, you fucking moron, you'll just make yourself more of a weak pathetic baby then you already are. Sanford scolded himself.

He closed his eyes. Maybe if he kept them closed long enough, he would wake up from this crazy dream, and Deimos would be waiting for him. With his adorable little smirk and his corny jokes.

Sanford buried his head into his pillow and screamed again. And again, and again. His throat began to hurt from all the screaming and strain. But Sanford didn't care anymore. He screamed until there was nothing left. Then Sanford rolled onto his back and stared at the ceiling. He felt empty, like a deflated balloon. The tears were back again. Sanford didn't have any strength left in him to hold them back. So he just let them fall.
Maybe if Sanford hadn't suggested they spilt up, they would still be together.

It was all his fault.

It was all his fucking fault.