Malli|TK

31

MAD

Taehyung felt like drowning in Jeongguk's eyes as they now sat down on his bed, facing each other. The only light source was still the simple yellowish hue of Taehyung's table lamp and the moonshine from outside. Jeongguk looked beautiful in this light. He always looks beautiful.

"I had no choice..." Jeongguk began, Taehyung's heartbeat quickening.

This it it, the moment he has been waiting for so long.

Jeongguk chuckled dryly at a thought, the sound making Taehyung nervous for no reason. "Actually, I had a choice, but I was too selfish, I.." He made a small pause, biting his lip as he tried to make sense of his thoughts.

Taehyung gave him a reassuring look, smiling lightly. "Take your time, I'm listening." He didn't want Jeongguk to rush anything, but he was still very impatient at the moment, feeling like his throat was getting tighter and tighter every passing second of Jeongguk saying no word.

Jeongguk silently thanked the younger with a small smile back. He didn't know how to start, drop the big bomb and just go? Keep the bomb till the end and then drop it?

"Just know, I never intended to hurt you, I never wanted to leave you. I'm so sorry things turned this way, it's just... my parents wanted to move out of town because... of you?" Okay, let's keep the bomb until the end and then drop it. For the meantime we are going to confuse Taehyung a little.

"What do you mean because of me?" Taehyung asked confused.

"Listen... it'll make sense in the end.." His own heart was beating so fast. "I had a choice. Move with my parents to Busan and never see you again or stay in Seoul, but break off the contact with you and your mom."

Taehyung stared at Jeongguk. "What?" He asked, rather unbelieving.

"I know.." Jeongguk felt so miserable about the situation. "I could've left and said goodbye properly, but I acted selfish."

Taehyung still couldn't follow.

"I couldn't bear the thought of not seeing you, Tae. I rather wanted to have you close and see you, but not being able to be with you than never see you again in person. I'm so sorry.." Jeongguk mumbled, Taehyung's heartbeat drowning his brain now.

"B-but why? Why did your parents.. because of me? I don't get it."

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry. It was all my fault, because.."

Drop the bomb.

Come on, Jeon.

"I caught feelings for you and my parents didn't like that."

Jeongguk watched Taehyung's eyes double in size, saw how his breath turned erratic from one of the other moment in disbelief. "What?" he whispered.

Jeongguk sighed, prying his eyes away from the blond. "I never told you I liked boys, because of my parents. But they noticed that we got too close and that I was starting to develop feelings. Their homophobic mindset... they thought it was a phase, so they insisted to leave Seoul to get me away from you.."

Taehyung was speechless, his chest heaving up and down erratically, head spinning, hands shaking.

"And I didn't want to leave obviously.. So they said we'll move houses and not tell you or your mom about it and I had to stop talking to you - and I tried my best to forget you, bullied you, treated you like shit, but I felt like a monster inside for doing that. I thought this way you'd also start ignoring me, so that I knew you moved on. But I only hurt you. You don't deserve any of the things I did and I meant nothing I ever said to you. You're amazing, Tae. You-