𝐒𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐒

ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ ⁹

I wake up in Jungkook's arms.

He has his arms wrapped around me tightly like if he moves away even a little bit, I'll be gone. His face is buried in my neck, nose pressing against the underside of my jaw. I smile a little.

It's exactly how I want to wake up every morning. But my smile fades as I remember the events of last night, all the tears and words exchanged. I feel awful. Jungkook was never supposed to know about this, never supposed to worry. It was my secret to keep.

These thoughts continue to pound themselves through my brain, telling me that I should never have let Jungkook see the cuts, that I don't deserve him caring about him, that I'm not enough for him, I'll never be enough.

I stare at the ceiling, trying to block out the thoughts. It's the same cycle over and over every day; reminders of my uselessness bombarding me and
the urge to make it all disappear rising immediately.

I squeeze my eyes shut.

I can't let my mind go there, not when Jungkook is lying right next to me. I remind myself of the look on his face last night, now sad my addiction made him. I have to try to stop, for him.

Just then, Jungkook makes a little noise and shifts on the bed, holding me even tighter. I look at his face; it's scrunched up in a frown.

I laugh a little. He always makes that face when he's waking up. Jungkook opens his eyes, looking up at me groggily.
"Why'reyoulaughgnatme?" he mumbles, words barely recognizable.

Because you're cute, I want to say. Instead, I say, "Because you're funny when you wake up."
Jungkook sighs sleepily and presses his face against my shoulder. "Wha' time's it?" he asks, voice muffled.

I look over at the alarm clock on the nightstand. "Around 6:30. We have to get up for school soon."
"No"
I laugh at the stubbornness in Jungkook's voice.
"Yes, Kook. Get up and educate yourself so you can go somewhere in life."

"I don't wanna."

"Well you gotta."
He takes his head off my shoulder.

"Can't we just skip today?"

"Seriously?"

"Yes, seriously. It's Friday, and nothing important is happening. We can just stay home and watch Netflix. I mean, you're parents aren't home, are they?
I sigh.

"No, they took Taeyong to his big
football game Thursday. They won't be back until Sunday"

Jungkook frowns. "Why didn't you go?"
I bite my lip, not meeting his eyes.

"They didn't want me to. Said it was Taeyong's game, and there was no reason for me to."

"Didn't you want to support Taeyong though ?"

"Yeah. But it's whatever. Taeyong said I could just watch one of his games here."

I see a little bit of pity in Jungkook's eyes, which is stupid. Sure, my parents don't like me much, but they're not like Jungkook's.

And at least Taeyong shows that he cared, sometimes. He's a jock and always gets good grades, so he doesn't have much time for anything else, even though he's only a sophomore in high school; two years younger than me. Which is why he's my parents favorite.

"Oh well," Jungkook says, snuggling a little closer to me.

"That just means we get the weekend to ourselves, right? So we should skip today"
I hesitate, not wanting to give in just yet.

If my parents find out that I missed a whole day of classes, they'll kill me. But as I look at Jungkook's puppy-dog eyes pleading with me, I decide that l don't really care.

Any time with Jungkook is worth dying for, I decide.
"Fine," I say.
Jungkook grins, showing all his teeth.

"But" I continue,
"We have to spend a little bit of time doing homework. Unlike you, I actually have to study to pass."

"That's fine,' Jungkook says, pulling the covers further up both of our bodies. "Now let's go back to sleep for a bit"

Not even a minute later, he's fallen back asleep, still holding me in his arms. I sigh.

Now, you may be wondering why Jungkook is so cuddly when he's a straight male with no feelings for me, but I've had a lot of time to wonder about that. As long as I can remember, we've always slept in the same bed for sleepovers, and we usually end up cuddling in some way or the other.

It's just the way he is. Of course I wish it was because of something else, but that's just wishful thinking. Instead of thinking more about it, I press myself against Jungkook's chest and close my eyes, enjoying the warmth of his body. In no time at all, I fall into a peaceful sleep.

~~~~~~~