𝐒𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐒

ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ ¹⁶

"Don't tell me you're sorry, do
something about it!" He's yelling now.

"I'm sick of coming home all the time to a son that's nothing but a disappointment!"

I cringe at the words. This isn't the first time he's yelled at me, but it is the first time he's said straight up what he thinks of me. I'd like to think that my dad is just stressed and takes the anger
out on me, but I know it's just me. He doesn't want someone like me for a Son.

There's a moment of tense silence; I'm too scared to reply.
"Say something, damn it!" My dad almost screams at me.

I flinch back. "I'm sorry," I say, voice shaking. "I'll try harder."
He huffs, and runs a hand through his thinning hair. "You'd better," he growls.
"You can go."

I scamper back out of the room and run through the living room where I left Jungkook. He's sitting on the couch, waiting for me. He jumps up when he sees me.

"What did he-" he starts, but I run right by him, not wanting him to see the tears in my eyes.

I sprint up the stairs, going as fast as I possibly can up into the bathroom. I slam the door behind me, locking the door. I feel bad, knowing that Jungkook will be up soon wondering what the matter is, but right now I need to pull myself together. I slide down the wall next to the shower and cover my face with my hands.

It seems silly, now that I think about it, how upset I am. Plenty of people have it so much worse. This same thing has happened to Jungkook on more than one occasion, and I don't see him having a breakdown in the bathroom. I choke back a sob.

I hate this I hate this I hate this.

I look up, knowing exactly what I need. I crawl forward to the cabinets under the sink and open them up. Just as I'm about to grab the razors from their hiding spots, I hear Jungkook knocking on the door.

"Tae" he says from the other side. "Tae, open up please."

But I don't want to. I don't want him to see me like this, and I don't want him to take the razors away from me. Jungkook continues to pound on the door, yelling my name. I hear the worry growing in his voice every moment I don't open the door.

More tears fall down my face as I yank my sleeves up and press the razor against my skin and make the first cut. It's deeper than I first intended, but it just feels even better. The blood bubbles up and rolls down the side of
my forearm, taking all the emotions and frustrations with it.

"Damn it, Tae!" Jungkook screams from behind the door. I had forgotten he was there.

"If you don't unlock this door I'm
going to come in anyway!"
I ignore him, sliding the blade against my skin a couple more time and making more droplets of blood run over my wrist. There's no way he can break the door open. 3 cuts, 4 cuts, 7, 8. I can't stop.

I must have been forgetting that
it's Jungkook we're talking about here, because not a minute later I hear a jiggling noise, and the door swings open, showing Jungkook standing there
with a bobby pin in his fingers.

His eyes widen when they take in me on the floor, tears running down my face and an arm covered in blood.

"Fuck," he whispers, and run over to me. He drops to his knees beside me and swipes the blade from my hands, throwing it across the bathroom.

Then he wraps me up in his arms, holding me so tight I can barely breathe. I let out another choked sob before breaking out in full on crying.

"Im sorry, I'm so sorry," I bawl, barely able to form the words.

"Shhh," Jungkook murmurs in my ear, rocking me back and forth in his arms.

He rests his cheek on the top of my head and I can feel his heart beating quickly through his chest. I can't imagine how this must be for him. Society is always talking about the pain
cutters go through, but what about the people who care about them? No one ever talks about how it is for the ones watching, for the people who have to walk in on their loved ones destroying themselves. I'm suddenly terrified that he won't want anything to do with me.

"Please don't leave me," I cry against his chest, voice quivering.

He makes a soothing sound in my ear, rubbing his hands up and down my back. "Never, Tae," he whispers. "I'm never leaving you, understand? You're
stuck with me forever."

I nod a little, hiccupping as I attempt to take control of my sobbing. Jungkook just continues to hold me on the floor of the bathroom, not saying anything, and I realize that I have no idea what I would do without him.

~~~~~~~