𝐒𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐒

ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ ⁴⁵ [ᴇɴᴅ]

"Or," I whisper, "we can forget about watching the stars and do something else." My hand moves further up his leg.

Unfortunately, we hear a bunch of obnoxious, (and overly dramatic, might I add) gagging noises.

"OI!" Taeyong yells from the other side of the truck where he's laying on the hood. "WE DON'T WANT TO HEAR THAT!"

"GET OVER IT!" Jungkook yells right back.

"CAN'T YOU DO THAT WHEN WE'RE NOT HERE?" More yells from Jimin where he and Yoongi are laying in the back of the second truck right next to us.

"YEAH!" pipes in Yoongi. "OUR POOR INNOCENT ASEXUAL EARS!"

"CAN EVERYONE STOP YELLING!" I practically scream.

There's moment of silence, and then everyone breaks out in a fit of laughter.

"Just don't be all gross and we won't complain," Yoongi says breathlessly when we finally stop laughing.

Jungkook grins and stretches his arms out, placing them behind his head. "Well," he drawls. "We should be able to resist the temptations, considering what we did before you guys got here."

More gagging sounds commence and as my face turns bright red, I playfully smack Jungkook's arm.

"Seriously?" I ask in an annoyed tone, once Jimin and Yoongi are talking in hushed whispers to each other and not paying attention.

He grins at me. "Are you ashamed?"

My face floods with heat, yet again. "I mean, no- but, really? Do you have to mention it in front of everyone?"

"Yup."

"This isn't fair!" Taeyong yells from the front of the truck, sounding like he's having an existential crisis. "All of you are being all couple-y and gooey and I'M FUCKING LONELY!"

"You can join us!" Yoongi answers cheerfully, and Jimin giggles.

Taeyong huffs, and they start bickering back and forth; something about Taeyong getting a girlfriend.

Jungkook smiles at me again and leans over to kiss my cheek sweetly. He pulls a blanket up further around us and we lean back to look up at the sky, at the countless beautiful stars.

"Ever gonna try to count them?" Jungkook asks, staring thoughtfully at them.

I shrug. "Nah. I know it's a cheesy romantic thing at all, but what's the point? They're there and they're pretty, so I'm just going to enjoy it."

He turns his head to look at me, eyes crinkling at the corners when he smiles. His eyes are sparkling in the moonlight, looking like the equivalent of the night sky itself.

"I love you," he says softly.

"I love you too."

We've fought our way though at least four more bad bouts of my depression, which included relapses with both an eating disorder as well as my self harm. Nothing got magically better, of course, but we kept going. Through meds and therapy, as well as the support of my family (thank goodness) things had started looking up.

Jimin and I got to be a lot closer friends, often helping each other through hard days. Yoongi was coming to terms with his sexuality and coming out, but we were there for him.

That's the thing about friendships.

Even though we all have problems and difficulty dealing with them, we're always there for each other. When all we want to do is push people away and break down alone we're there for each other. There have been times when I've ignored all my friends for days on end, and when most people would just give up, Jimin, Yoongi and Jungkook wouldn't stop checking up on me and making sure I was okay.

I know it's not fair to the people in your life when you're a horrible person because of your mental illness. But if you have the right friends, they won't completely base your friendship on how much effort you put in. They'll be there for you, even if you don't ask for it. And you do the same for them.

We learn, we move on. We do the best we can, and even when life kicks you in the ass, you get up, dust yourself off and say not today, motherfucker. And, most importantly, you live.

We've made our mistakes

It's not too late

We had to learn the hard way

Bridges will burn

Now it's our turn

We had to learn the hard way

Cause all we ever want is gold

It's 2 in the morning

Can't seem to find the words for a
song

I remembered my dreams

And how far they seemed

I can't believe how far we have come

Cause all we ever want is gold

So it's 60 miles on this open road

Don't lose your faith in me

(Don't ever look back)

It's never what it seems

'Cause all we ever want is gold

✵ 𝚃𝙷𝙴 𝙴𝙽𝙳✵