𝐒𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐒

ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ ³¹

There's silence in the room, until Dr. Park speaks up. "You really love him, don't you?"

I nod, wiping the wetness on my cheek away with the back of my hand. "So, so much. But it must've not been enough."

"Don't blame yourself," he says quietly.

"Never say you didn't love enough. Unfortunately, love itself isn't always enough, I'm afraid."

"But it is my fault."

He tilts his head. "How so?"

"I walked away from him when he needed me the most. I walked away when he begged me to stay."

"Did you have a reason?"

I shake my head. "Nothing but being a coward."

There's a pause. "Care to explain?"

I sigh, sitting down on the side of the
bed. "Only if you promise to not tell anyone."

He puts his hands up and gives me a smile. "Doctor-patient confidentiality, I promise."

"Ok." I take a deep breath. "Um. I've been getting beat up recently...badly. And when Jong In wanted revenge from something I said to him, he decided that the best way would be to hurt Tae. He threatened to beat me up himself if I interfered, and like the coward I am, I listened, because I didn't think I could take any more. I thought Tae could handle it, that he'd be fine, and that I could explain later. Clearly, I was wrong. I didn't think he was in this bad of a place."

"Never assume something like that," Dr. Park says wisely.

"I know. I know that now. And I hate myself for it. I just. I always thought Tae was so much stronger than me. I
mean, he still is. I just didn't realize he was at his breaking point."

He nods, watching me with dark eyes.
"Jungkook...may I ask who it is that's beating you up?" I glance at him, my eyes widening.

"It's okay," he says, gently. "You can tell me."

"Um."I stare at my hands, heart beating faster in anticipation of the secret I'm about to tell. I haven't told anyone.
"Ok. So." The next words come out in a rush. "It's my dad." I breath for a moment before adding, "But it's not his fault. I make him mad, and that just sets him off. He's just having a tough time."

Dr. Park shoots to his feet, face the epitome of rage. "Listen to me, Jungkook." he says, voice low. "It doesn't matter what you do. There is absolutely no reason for a father to hit his son."

I open my mouth to say something in defense for my father again, but all of a sudden, I hear something.

"Why didn't you tell me, Jungkook?" a
small, weak voice pipes up from the bed.

My head whips around, and there I see Tae, lying there with wide eyes as he stares at me. His face is very pale and he's hardly awake, but he's alive.

I gape at him for a second before pouncing on the bed and engulfing him in a gigantic hug.

I make sure to be mindful of his arms, of course. I feel Tae slowly cuddle into my side, burrowing his face into my neck as I whisper, "I'm sorry, I'm so fucking sorry," into his ear over and over again.

Tae's hand comes to rest on the back of my neck, and he pulls my face to where he can look me in the eyes. "No, I'm sorry," he says firmly. Well, as firmly as he can when he's barely conscious.

"I can't believe you didn't tell me that your father was hurting you. "

I press my forehead against his. "I can't believe you didn't tell me you wanted to fucking kill yourself. I'm so fucking stupid, Tae, I can't believe I couldn't see-"

He cuts me off quickly. "No, shut up Jungkook. This probably would have happened eventually. I'm just not happy. And I'm sorry, but... I'll try to get better, okay?"

There's a moment of silence, and then Dr. Park speaks up. "I hate to break it to you, but we're not in the clear yet. Tae, I was hoping you'd come back to my house with me so I can't watch you for the next day. I'm also assuming you don't want your parents to know?"

He swallows visibly. "Um, yeah," he says in that quiet voice of his. "I can't believe I'm asking you to do this, but."

Dr. Park nods. "Of course. I'll tell them something. We should head over to my house now, and Jungkook-"

I look up at him.

"-We're not done with that conversation about your father yet."

Tae is glancing at me with this sad look on his face, and it makes me feel bad. Here he is after he tried to fucking kill himself, still worrying about me.

Tae is picked up by Dr. Park again so he doesn't have to walk out to the car. I put a bag together with some of Tae's stuff, like clothes and a toothbrush and stuff, for an overnight, and then I follow Dr. Park and Tae out the door.

~~~~~~~