I Am a Woman

Chapter 7

Chapter 7

"Wait, Cee. I am still talking to your friend! Are you just going to leave her there?" Hilahila ko ang kanang kamay ni Verra palabas ng Slastan.

Tinapunan ko pa ng masamang tingin ang kaibigan ko na ngayon ay nakangising nakatingin sa amin bago kami umalis. But I made sure that Verra didn't see that.

Nakuha pa ni Satarrah na kawayan kami bago mawala ang paningin ko sa kanya. That girl is really good at annoying me.

I will just message her later na magtaxi na lang siya pauwi. I don't think na maihahatid ko pa siya pauwi since Verra is here. I have to deal with her first.

Nakahinga ako ng maluwag ng makalabas kami ng Slastan. I think putting Satarrah and Verra in the same place is not a good idea.

Satarrah's playful side might make things worse. Lalo na at natutuwa ito na nauuto niya ang isang 'to.

Nang mabitawan ko ang kamay niya ay bumalik ang matalim na tingin nito.

"You are not answering my text, and why can't I contact you?!" Gusto kong mapangiwi dahil sa sinabi niya. Hindi ko rin alam kung ano ang isasagot ko.

Akala ko kanina ay makakaligtas na ako sa tanong niya na ito, pero hindi pala. But I think this is better than letting her talk to Satarrah. Baka kung ano pang kasinungalingan ang sabihin ng babaeng 'yon.

"Someone answered my call once, and it doesn't sound like you! You know what that person said to me? Kung ako daw ba yung bibili ng shabu!" Galit at hindi makapaniwala na sabi niya na siyang ikinanlaki ng mga mata ko sa gulat.

"It wasn't me." Mariing tanggi ko. I even raised my hand like I was being held hostage and shook my head. I also motioned for her to be quiet, dahil baka may makarinig na iba tapos isipin nagbebenta kami ng ipinagbabawal na gamot dito.

Oh my gosh. I didn't know that the owner of that number is a drug dealer! Kaya naman pala galit na galit siya. Hinulaan ko lang kasi yung phone number na binigay ko sa kanya nung nakaraan. Hindi ko naman alam na sa dami daming phone number na mahulaan ko ay doon pa sa nagbebenta ng bato. Should we report that number?

"I know it wasn't you." Mahina na ang boses nito, pero may diin pa rin ang pagkakabigkas ng mga binitawang niyang salita. "Goodness. I can't believe that I even sent sweet messages to that person." Hindi makapaniwala na sambit nito.

Gusto kong matawa pero pinigilan ko ang sarili ko dahil baka lalong mas sumama ang timpla ng mood nito.

What did she just say? She sends me sweet messages? I doubt that. Baka pangsistensya ang mga message niya dahil sa sobrang demanding.

"I was always looking for you, but you are clearly avoiding me." Mababa na ang tono ng boses niya. Well, totoo naman kasi na iniiwasan ko siya. Pero alam kong mas magagalit ito kapag umamin ako.

"I'm sorry." Parang naguilty tuloy ako sa ginawa ko.

"So, I was right? Anyway, you can't avoid me forever, Cee. I can always find you. Remember that."

This is exactly what Satarrah said earlier. Verra will keep chasing me if I keep running. But I can't help it. Her presence will not be good for me. This will just lead to a series of lies and pretences. I am just trying to avoid where this thing is leading. Paano na lang kaya kung malaman nito na isa akong babae at hindi isang lalaki?

"Siguro nagdadate talaga kayo ng Satarrah na 'yon 'no?" Bumalik ang mapanghusgang tono ng boses niya.

"Nasabi na niya sayo diba? She is my friend. We're just having dinner and talks." Damn. I can feel my patience on alert level. Mabuti na lang at parang kumalma ulit ito dahil sa sinabi ko.

Mayamaya ay nakita ko na nagliwanag ang mga mukha niya at tila may naalala. Unti-unting gumuhit ang na mapaglarong ngiti sa labi nito.

Oh no. I hate that look. Obviously, she remembered what Satarrah just said to her.

"So, you find me beautiful?" Verra said in a playful voice. Sabi ko na nga ba at ito ang sasabihin niya. As much as I want to ignore this topic, I know she will keep insisting on it.

I was about to say no, but seeing how happy she is makes me change my mind. May pamilyar na kinang sa mata nito na hindi katulad kanina na sa talim ng titig nito ay parang handa na makipag-away. She's also smiling widely, showing her almost perfect set of teeth.

Napakabilis magbago ng mood niya.

Instead of answering her, I just stood there in silence. Pinasadahan ko ng tingin ang suot nito at nakahinga ako ng maluwag ng makitang maayos ang suot niya ngayon.

"What? You are not gonna answer me?" Muli niyang tanong. I can feel myself panicking when she steps closer to me. I was about to step backward, but she grabbed my upper arm to prevent me from taking a step.

"I want to hear it from you." Bulong niya habang hinuhuli ang tingin ko na pilit kong iniiwas sa kanya. Hindi ako sigurado, pero parang nang-aakit ang boses nito.

She's so close that it makes me feel really uncomfortable.

"I..." I suddenly can't find my voice. I never really said what Satarrah said, tho. Why is she making it a big deal? I'm sure marami naman na nakapag-sabi sa kanya 'non.

And why am I making this a big deal too? Pwede ko din naman sabihin na lang sa kanya para matapos na 'to.

With that thought, I had the courage to meet her brown eyes.

Pero dahil sa lapit ng mukha niya ay hindi ko maiwasan na pagmasdan ito. Kung kanina ay mapaglaro ang tingin na ibinibigay niya sa akin, ngayon ay tila mapag-asam na ang mga emosyon ng mga mata nito.

She's too close that I can smell her scent. It reminds me of the mild fragrance of blended sweet apples.

For the first time, I find myself intently studying her face. I can see the reflection of the streetlights in her eyes. Because of it, I can picture the brown forest surrounded by flying fireflies in her eyes. Nasa saktong haba ang kanyang pilik mata, at nasa tamang hugis ang mga kilay nito. It was proportionally lined up to match her eyes.

Bumaba ang tingin ko sa matangos nitong ilong. With our close distance, I notice the small mole in the tip of her nose, na kung sa malayuan ay hinding-hindi mo mapapansin.

My sight went down to her lips. It was covered with alluring shade. Overall, her facial features seem perfectly placed and enhanced with makeup.

I suddenly want to agree with her about her question earlier. Do I find her beautiful? No. I've always found her just pretty since the day I met her. But why...why does she look beautiful right now?

I want to shake off this thought. No. No. No. Remember Cee, she's just pretty and rich. Iyon lang.

When I met her eyes again, I found her intensely staring back at me. Her gaze makes me feel like I'm drowning in its depths.

Pero tila natauhan ako at marahan siyang itinulak dahil sa sunod niyang sinabi.

"I want to kiss you."

I suddenly can't think of anything aside from what she uttered. It made me feel something unfamiliar. It's like there's a rumbling inside me that wants to be free. That feeling rose to my chest as I could feel my heart pumping more blood into my cheeks than usual.

I hate this feeling.

So, even though I know how ungentleman of me to leave her there, I still find myself running away from Verra Normans...again.