I Am a Woman

Chapter 38

Chapter 38

Why did she do this to me? That question was stuck in my mind because I never let her explain.

I spend most of my days with a broken heart. I don't know what to do. For the past months, my world and my life have revolved around her. Without her by my side, things are not the same anymore.

I'm trying to be strong. I'm forcing myself to believe that I made the right decision. She's a woman. We are both women.

Now that I have realized it, kung hinayaan ko ba siyang magpaliwanag magiging okay ang lahat? But still, that wouldn't change the fact that she made me a fool.

I shed tears every night, even if I don't want to. I cried myself to sleep and woke up with a throbbing chest. My heart is breaking more when I see and remember things that remind me of her.

Dapat mas magalit ako dahil niloko niya ako, pero walang wala ang sama ng loob ko sa sakit na nararamdaman ko. After what she did to me, I'm still missing her.

"Alam mo ba? Yung isang apo daw ng Seriantel tinutukan ng baril ni Don Sebastian dahil nalaman na nagpapanggap daw na lalaki."

Natigilan ako at nanatiling hindi kumikibo nang marinig ko ang dalawang employee na kasabay ko sa elevator. I know that they didn't know I was here, because if they did, hindi sila magchichismisan sa harap ko.

My mind is generating more questions again. Of course, I know who they are referring to. Does that mean that her grandfather also didn't know that she's a woman? Why?

Nabalot ng kaba at takot ang dibdib ko sa ideyang baka totoo nga ang sinasabi ng dalawang babaeng kasama ko ngayon. There is a gun involved. Is she okay?

"Usap-usapan kasi na nasa pamahiin ng pamilyang 'yon na bawal ang panganay na anak na babae. Sabi nila pinalaki ng magulang na lalaki para hindi ipapatay ng Don."

"Totoo pala 'yon?"

"Chismis lang. Pero kung totoo nga, grabe naman ang pamahiin ng pamilya nila. Hindi makatarungan."

Nakalabas na ang dalawang employee sa elevator, at ako na lang ang natira. Mas lalong dumami ang tanong sa utak ko. I can feel my body weakening from the said rumors. If it's true, is that her reason for lying about her identity?

Nanginginig na tinungo ko ang daan papunta sa office ko. I can feel some employees glancing at me with mysterious looks on their faces.

"Zoey, cancel all my plans for this day." I said to my secretary who's right outside my office.

I don't think I can function today. All I want are the answers to all the questions circulating in my mind.

"There's a letter for you, Ma'am." Narinig ko na sabi nito. Napatigil ako sa pagpihit ng pinto nang ilahad nito sa akin ang isang papel.

"Is that important?"

Nakita ko ang alinlangang pagngiti nito at marahang pagtango bago sagutin ang tanong ko.

"It's from Mr. Cee, M-Ma'am."

I was stunned. Without a second thought, I grabbed it from her with my shaking hands. Mabilis akong pumasok sa office at nanghihinang tinitigan ang papel na hawak ko.

I slowly opened it, and regret instantly filled my heart as soon as I read all the letters and words written on it.

Verra,

It's funny that when I first met you, I felt envious. I envy you because I also want to freely wear dresses and stilettos, paint my nails, and put on makeup just like any other woman. But what can I do? I was stuck wearing male's clothing even when I was still a child.