I Am a Woman

Prologue

Prologue

I'm tapping my fingers on the table while staring at this restaurant's entrance door. Naiinip na tiningnan ko ang aking suot na relo para silipin ang oras.

Just five minutes more. Kapag limang minuto na at hindi pa rin dumadating ang babaeng 'yon ay aalis na ako.

Kung hindi lang talaga ako pinilit at pinagbantaan ni Mama na pumunta dito ay hindi ako magaaksaya ng oras para sa babaeng katulad niya. The hell. I'm not even an inch interested with that woman.

But my mother—she insisted that I should meet the heiress of the Normans. Sa una pa lang ay tutol na ako para dinner set-up na ito pero wala rin naman akong magagawa. So, here I am, playing the role of an obedient child and grandchild.

I really have a bad feeling about where this thing is leading.

Five minutes are already done, kaya napagpasyahan kong umalis na. But when I was about to stand up, I saw someone slowly approaching this table.

It must be her.

My eyes travel through her whole body.

Hindi dahil para tingnan ang katawan nito kundi para pagmasdan ang suot nitong damit.

She's wearing a black, sexy dress. A revealing one. It is paired with white, shiny stilettos and a white handbag. She's also wearing silver jewelry, flashing her rich and elegant aura.

Heaven knows how much I want to wear dresses. But never in my life have I ever tried it. I want to wear stilettos, paint my nails, wear earrings, and put on makeup. To wear what most women wear.

But here I am, stuck at wearing tuxedos and men's pants.

"Done checking me out?" Doon lang ako napatingin sa mukha niya nang marinig ko itong magsalita. Well, what can I say? She is...pretty.

She is pretty and rich, but nothing else is interesting about her. Nothing else is special about her.

I didn't mind what she said. Instead of answering her, I just stand up and pull out a chair for her. I hate doing this thing, but what can I do? I need to play as a gentleman here.

This thought also makes me sad. Kailan kaya ang time na ako naman ang ipaghihila ng upuan? When will it be my time to be treated as a woman?

Malabo, pero I really hope that the time will come. If that time comes, I will surely live my life to the fullest. That will definitely be the happiest I will ever be.

Mukhang sanay na rin siya sa mga ganitong eksena dahil agad rin itong tumalima. Nang makaupo ito ay bumalik na ulit ako sa harapan niya.

I make sure that I am sitting in a good posture nang makaupo ako.

Nagtama ang tingin naming dalawa. I noticed that she had been staring at me, simula kanina pa. That's when I decided to break my silence.

"I like your dress." But it doesn't look good on you. I want to add, pero that's surely going to come out rude. Sa tingin ko ay hindi talaga ito bagay sa kanya. I think it's too revealing for her. Kitang-kita ang cleavage niya. But why do I care? That's her body, her choice.

Mukhang nagulat pa ito sa sinabi ko. Napaisip tuloy ako. There's nothing wrong with me complimenting her dress, right? Or she might find it odd that a man compliments her dress rather than her face? Silly me.

"Thank you. I'm Verra Normans." She said while giving me a full smile. Kung totoong lalaki lang siguro ako ay talagang maakit ako ng ngiting 'yon. But sorry honey, I will not fall for that, especially that I know her.

Verra Normans.

A typical girl who dates rich and famous boys in the showbiz and entertainment industry. Halos kada buwan na nga itong laman ng social media dahil kung sino-sino ang idinidate o kaya ay nalilink na mga artista sa kanya. There is even a rumor that she is the third party to a famous Youtube Influencer couple. One word that netizen describes her— a flirt.

"It's good that you made time for this, Miss Verra. I am Cee Seriantel." I said with a shy smile and extended my hand to her. Even though I don't really want to be here, ayaw ko naman isipin niya na bastos ako. Lalo na at baka makarating pa ito kay Lolo Sebastian.

The dinner went well. I just keep asking her things, and so does she. Pero sa totoo lang ay hindi ko naman talaga binibigyang pansin ang mga sinasabi niya, kaya wala rin naman akong naintindihan. I just want this dinner to end.

I also make sure to keep complimenting her whenever I have the chance. Not because I'm flirting with her, but to empower her. Plus, women like her for sure like getting compliments.

Pero parang mali yata ang naging desisyon ko dahil baka akalain niya na interesado ako sa kanya.

Lalo na at madalas ko rin na napapansin na lagi itong nakatingin sa akin. No, not just looking, but staring. She keeps staring at me, which makes me uncomfortable.

If she thinks she can get me with those stares and sweet smiles, well, she's wrong. I don't want to be part of her boy toy collection. More importantly, I'm straight.

Luckily, meron siyang dalang sasakyan kaya naman hindi ko na siya kailangan pang ihatid. I just offered to walk her to her car. She gives me a peck on the cheek and bids me goodbye.

I just keep on smiling at her hanggang sa makaalis ito. I dropped my smile as soon as her car was out of my sight.

I sighed in relief when I got back to my place.

I just found myself staring into the mirror habang iniisip ang mga nangyari kanina.

That Verra Normans—I envy her. Malaya itong gawin ang mga gusto niya. She can wear what she wants and do whatever she likes. How I wish I could be like that too.

Since I was a child, I was asked to keep my real gender and to act and dress like a boy. So here I am, pretending as a man and living in my brother's identity just to be accepted in the Seriantel family.

Hindi ko maiwasang maluha habang nakatitig sa sarili ko sa salamin.

All I can see is an image of a man. My hair is styled in a neat two-block haircut. I am wearing a white collared shirt with a tie and a classic navy-blue suit, partnered with straight navy-blue pants and men's shoes. A typical look of a professional man. 

But behind this nice and fitted men's suit is a fragile body of a lady. Something that has never been shown in the world.

Staring at the mirror, I can't help but to reveal the phrases I want to be defined, to be truly who I am.

"I am a woman."