I Am a Woman

Chapter 22

Chapter 22

Two months have passed, and every moment with Verra is a treasure. All the things we do together are dreamlike and euphoric. We kiss. We cuddle. We are each other's comfort.

Each and every moment we share together holds special significance. Verra never fails to tell me and express to me how much she likes me.

But I'm afraid that with just a blink, everything could shatter and collapse. My conscience is slowly killing me.

It's not my intention to lie further. But my feelings for her are so strong that I find myself grasping and holding the truth because I'm scared that she will hate me and eventually leave me once she knows.

I'm being selfish by denying her the truth that she deserves to know from the beginning.

Natatakot ako sa mga susunod na mangyayari. I know I can't pretend forever.

"I cooked your favorite!" Masayang pahayag ni Verra pagpasok niya sa office ko.

She gave me a quick kiss and proudly presented to me the lunch box she had prepared. She's sweetly smiling and looking at me with sparks of admiration in her brown eyes.

Hindi ko mapigilang mapatingin dito habang masaya at nasasabik nitong hinahanda ang dala niyang pagkain.

How can I lie to someone as genuine as her? I hate myself for deceiving the person who did nothing but shower me with fondness and make me feel happy and alive.

"You're getting good at cooking." I complimented her when I got to taste the sinigang she cooked.

"Of course! I'm getting ready, so I can always cook for you once we live together. I want to be a great wife." Masayang sambit nito.

I smiled at her thoughts. I know she will be a great wife in the future.

"I want to build a family with you, Cee."

Unti-unting nawala ang ngiti ko dahil sa sunod niyang sinabi. Tila binagsakan ako ng reyalidad.

She wants a family.

And I don't think I can give her that.

I suddenly wanted to cry. I'm happy that she's thinking about the future with me. Pero parang pinipiga din ang puso ko sa ideya na nais nitong bumuo ng pamilya na alam kong hindi ko kayang ibigay sa kanya.

Sometimes I'm so happy that I forget that she thinks of me as a man. But...I am a woman. And me being a woman will ruin all the dreams she wants to build with me.

"Are you okay, hon?" She snapped at me. Hindi ko namalayan na nakatulala na pala ako habang iniisip ang mga bagay na kinatatakutan ko na mangyari.

I gave her a nod and a reassuring smile. Itinuon ko ang pansin sa nasa harapan ko at itinuloy ang pagkain.

"By the way, hon, Mom and Dad will come home, and they want to meet you. Are you available on Saturday night?" Tanong nito na ikinabigla ko.

"They want to meet me?" Ulit na tanong ko, kahit na malinaw naman ang pagkakasabi niya kanina. I didn't know that she mentioned me to her parents.

"Yes." Tipid na sagot niya.

Her parents want to meet me. Hindi ko mapigilang mangamba. Isn't this getting more serious? I want to meet her parents too. But I don't want to deceive more people.

"Why? Are you nervous?" She playfully stated when she saw my reaction. Tila natutuwa ito sa ideya na kinakabahan ako na makilala ang mga magulang niya. Pero hindi iyon ang pinapangamba ko.