Journal of an Empress

I won't run in fear anymore

Chapter 14

I had an interested meeting with someone that told me some things about stuff happened during the past years. Things I didn't know really. About my DM. What he had said about me. When we met. About me personally. Intimidating shit.  Actually this last week has really put me in a totally new way of seeing him in. Not in a good way. Even if I knew it, of course things like that are not fun to hear. But it tells more of him than me. 

I can't feel him. Not anything at all. It is a total blockage from me.  I have really reflected over the last years and are more sure than ever that he really was a karmic. I thought that he was the twinflame runner all along due to who he was when we met. He had another energy around him. Now I have found out about all the lies. Everything. It is not that I am sitting here in despair over it, I am just, duh, ok. Whatever. I don't want him. I will get good karma for me. 

It is some kind of relief that he isn't my DM really. I am also very glad that I have realized that the only thing I should be responsible over is myself and my action. I take charge over my life. I won't blame anyone else for the decisions I made. I made them upon what I believed was right. I don't have regrets. I will learn the lessons and go forward. Now is now. Then was then.

I have learned that to be the Empress is to be able to heal yourself. To honor what you want and go for, just that and nothing less. You don't have to put up walls. You just have to think broad spectrum what you want and don't just get exclusive for people that don't is it for you. I want love but true love comes from true connections that shows your worth and not when they need it. 

I have also learned something new scary things that made me run for the hills before. In fear. When I am unsure and feel unsafe. I ask. Just spit it out. No going around. Just ask. To get the answer even if it might be an answer that is not positive. I just want the answer that is TRUE. My fear is not to be rejected it is to be lied to and to deal with fake people so I have made questions to spot them out.

1. Are they asking about you and feels like they care for you?

2. Do they encourage you and compliments you for the way you are and not the looks?

3. Will they be there if you really need them?

4. Are they making sure that your are safe and feeling comfortable around them?

5. Do they smile when they see you and have a light in there eyes that isnt that kind of undressing look (ONLY ;) 

Well you might have a catch! Run towards love but be sure you just don't runt for getting love that is not giving!