Journal of an Empress

Lessons learned

Chapter 30

One year has passed since I was ghosted,  by, what I thought was the love of my life. I could never even imagined that my DM was able to change in the different kind of ways that he has done. I have never seen a person change his personality and his inner light to be this 3D harsh burger king behaving guy. 

Many times I have said that I am over him but in my heart there have always been a bit of a hesitation feeling. Today I can truly say that I AM over him. Cherishing his love in his soul and our all passed lives together, yes. Being able to connect in this life, no way.

I am a very kind, forgiving person that can really forgive very easily. Sometimes in my life people has really treat me bad but I have always forgive them sometimes no matter how hard they have made me ill just because they have shown me a little, little glimpse of love, for me. 

This year I have ascended in my self, my higher-self and in my glance of other people. I am love. I love. I choose to believe in love. The true purpose of life is to spread love.  I step back from people that don't understand this. They don't have a position in my life. At all. I can't teach people to love and feel. I can't force anyone to give love or to receive love either. Their choices are though not mine. Even if they act with cruelty and bad behavior, I will not act upon it. I will just walk away and live my life by the way I want to. By the cups. 

My life has been hard sometimes but still very, very blessed. I have asked for help and I have received it, from the Divine and Universe. The more I shut the brain off and listen to my heart, the more loved and blessed I feel. The more I choose myself and my worth the more people show up to show me just this. My value. What I am worth.

The divine has made me a better person for myself but even for the world. I don't give in to materialistic and superficial people. I can smell them once I meet them and go the other way. Directly. I don't have time for people that don't have time for me.  I am sick of people not giving back and will never, ever put myself ina position where I won't be appreciated or respected for it.

I have learned. Finally. That love that is not equal given and taken is not love at all. It is just a need that in its foundation is not build by authentic love, just a fake vision of it. And if it is a fake vision it is not a vision to hold on to no matter how hard you try to believe that it is real. If it is fake it doesn't feel right. If you are not feeling appreciated and can feel you have faith and thrust in it, just walk away. Just walk away.

I believe in myself and I believe that my true love will come. Again. My DM is out there. Not the one that I have met in my life,  that I have had this long, tough journey with, I think he was just one to help me ascend and learn from. Maybe he was a twinflame maybe he wasn't but I am grateful, as I have said before because finally, I understand what I deserve, want and NOT want in a relationship.

For that I am most grateful and humble for. I will never give up on unconditional love. Somewhere he is. Maybe I will meet him in this life. Maybe in the next one. I am ready.