THE BEAST ONLY LOVE

CHAPTER 35

"Bumalik ako dahil wala akong pupuntahan kundi si mama lang."

"He raped my mother dead body, Hades. Demonyo siya. Wala siyang puso! Akala ko tanggap niya kami ni mama, pero siya rin pala ang ang makakakuha ng mga panggarap namin." Puno ng hinanakit kung saad.

"Then he saw me... he saw me, Hades." I panicked, nang naalala ng nakita niya ako, tumaas ang mga balahibo ko doon. Umiling ako at umiyak lalo dahil sa memoryang iyon.

"He saw me and r-daped me beside my mother d-dead body." I started at him and fear was visible in my eyes. Nakita niya iyon kaya pinatong niya ang noo sa noo ko. I heard Hades took a sharp and painful breath.

"Tangina." Bulong niya.

I sobbed and cried harder. Ang sakit... ang sakit sakit ng dibdib ko.

"Hindi lang iyon ang una. Binaboy niya ako, binaboy niya ako." Pain was heard in my voice. I could feel Hades anger, but he tried to be calm for me.

I remember how he raped me multiple time and left me to dispose my mother body. I'm too weak to escape he chain and locked me in the room.

Bumalik ito ng dalawang araw na may kasamang nga lalaki, dalawang araw na walang kain, dalawang araw na uhaw. Binenta niya ako sa nga lalaking iyon, at binaboy rin nila ako.

"Fuck!" He closed his eyes and his breathing is deep. He cupped ny cheek while our forehead was meeting. Ilang dangkal na layo namin sa isa't isa. Napahagulgol ako habang mahigpit na naka-kapit sa balikat niya.

Sunod-sunod na nag-play ang mga eksinang ginawa niya sakin, mga nakakadiring ginawa niya sakin. Pumikit ako ng mariin at hindi napigilang umiiyak lalo.

"Pagkatapos niya akong pagsawaan binenta niya ako, binenta niya ako and... and they did so many things to me...so many disgusting things to me."

Two nights with them was just the beginning of the hell.

I looked at him and saw him staring at me, he looked hurt. Like his hurt because I'm hurting too. Hindi ako makapiwalang sinasabi ko sa kanya ang nakaraan ako. Ang nakaraan kung gusto kung makalimutan.

"Tangina Sania, makakapatay ako." He gritted his teeth and hide me like his protecting from someone.

Makakapatay? He can do that for me? But why? I don't want to assume because I know I'll hurt.

"After suffering on their hand, it was just the beginning. Binenta nila ako sa underground, I am so dirty, ang dumi-dumi ko! Ang dumi ko, Hades." I hysterical and another batch of tears fell in my eyes. Pumiglas ako sa pagkakayakap nito pero hindi niya ako binitawan.

"Agape that's not true, fuck them!" He hugged me tightly and he's shaking because of anger. I buried my face on his chest and cried harder.

You can't be my peace, Hades. I'll just dragged you down.

I stopped and made an agonizing sobbed. "I was just eight that time, so young."

"Until Pappa found me, she's my mother boyfriend but they end their relationship when Pappa parents did not accept my mother. Pappa found out that my mother was pregnant he searched but after so many years he can't found my mother but didn't give up, until he found me."

I wiped my tears away pero ayaw parin tumigil sa pagkakaiyak. I covered my mouth with my hand and cried harder.

I did lost myself, I lost Maurine, I lost myself after all those things happened to me.

"I suffer in underground being a prostitute for 3 years, Hades. Three fucking years. I lost myself, I lost it." I said painfully. It hurt me admitting that I'm not okay at all after what happened to me.

"Wife..." He muttered a lot of curses.

"Maurine dead. "Maurine" I hate that name. I hate it. It hurts."

"I'm here Agape, I'm here... you are not alone, I'll stay here beside you." He said.

"Three years... I was alone. For three years of suffering each day I'm just thinking that killing myself will be my only freedom." I smiled bitterly. His lips parted like I just drop a time bomb infront of him.

I was traumatized. I'm a suicidal person, all I can do is to pretend that I didn't remember my past. Pretend.

Naalala ko ang mga nakakadiring ginawa nila sakin, pagpipilit nila sakin, I tremble with fear and digusted, thoses digusted things!

"I'm scared, palagi na lang silang bumubulong sakin, telling me I'm a murderer, I'm disgusting woman.. I'm scared." He cursed and kissed my temple.

"No, agape. I'm here now, no one's gonna hurt you."

I looked at Hades and saw him watching me. He looked hurt and anger. He wiped my tears away and kissed my lips softly.

"I love your imperfections, my wife."

"I'm a dirty woman, Hades." I shook ny head and pushed him pero hindi man lang ito napaatras, I'm to weak to pushed him harshly.

"The kids they can't be mine, I'm disgusting. I'm dirty." He shook his head and cupped my cheek. He looked mad, hurt and gently on him.

"You're wonderful, strong and amazing, wife and mother. Fuck them I will haunt them down, please don't look down on yourself. You are perfect. Too perfect for me." Umiling ako dahil hindi iyon totoo, I'm not perfect. He deserves a woman who was not stained and dirty.

And the kids needs a mother that are good for them, and it's not me. I can't stained their future because of my past. I can't.

I don't know but I feel comfortable telling my past, hopping that someone would understand me. I wanted to tell them but fear is stopping me, scared that maybe they'll digusted me after hearing my story.

Not until I tell my story to Hades.

I was sobbing harder that found me having hard time breathing. Hades start stroking my back gently.

"Hearing your past made me admire you more, fuck will kill them, haunt them down for you, my wife."

"Hades, I'm not good for you for the kids, I can't destroy their future because of my past, I don't want that to happen, Hades."

"The kids love you, I'm sure they'll accept you, the whole you, Agape,"

"Because I did."dugtong niya naikinaiyak ko lalo.

I sobbed and nodded, not really convince sa sinabi niya, I love the kids and I admitted that I like him so much. I like him. And it's bad, just my presence will humiliate Hades. And I don't want that to happen.

Because I'm falling in love.