Blandview High Musical

54. What A Feeling

The bell rang overhead, and we were released from class. It was Friday, February 28th. The last day of the month. Nationals was next week before Spring Break, so I was going to take this weekend to really enjoy. Winning the bid to Nationals was something else. I had never had so much attention paid to myself ever. Of course...not everything was rainbows and roses. After that weekend, Jade seemed to just seethe venom. It was like everything that had happened two weeks ago finally kicked in with her. She was snappy and angry with me. I deserved it. After all, I did ruin her corset and make a scene in front of the entire school.

            I realized what it was like to be on the shit end of her stick. Caylie still stuck by her side through everything. I figured since I was on the outside now, there were conversations of importance that I missed. Caylie was always trying to put herself between all the daggers Jade would throw my direction. I never asked for that, but I did appreciate what she was trying to do. By this time, Sylvia was my only friend. I wasn't not friends with Courtney because she had tried to kiss me, it just made things awkward and I think Courtney knew that. She returned to her old friend group and thankfully, she didn't pick on me anymore. Then there was Shayne... the simpering little puppy who I couldn't get away from. It seemed like no matter the hints that were being given, Shayne still found time to stare longingly at me. I didn't want to have feelings over it, but they were there. Creeping up over my shoulder to remind me...I was still in love with him.

            Shayne had become lost in his own feelings for Gill. Suddenly, the whole world revolved around her approval. He would leave little notes wedged in the opening of her locker. He didn't know if she kept them or even read them. It just made him feel good to leave them there. He would drive by her house, but never go up to the front door. He'd go to the diner and order her favorite ice cream. He could never finish it all. So much had been left unsaid and he would've come clean after she won the last volleyball game, but she couldn't give him the time of day. Why would she? He was responsible, partly, for their relationship ending. Still, there had to be some leeway somewhere.

            All the notes Shayne would leave pinned to my locker, I would keep. There's a little stack of them in a Ziploc baggie at the very back of my locker. I haven't read any of them. I don't know if I could without openly sobbing. Here's this guy who is still pining after me after all our stupid fucking bullshit and I'm just trying to move on. But...I can't. Maybe I need closure. No. No, you do not need fucking closure. I should at least give him a chance to explain himself. Explain what? Cheating? Fuck that. "Will you just shut up for five minutes?!" I shouted from inside the car. I didn't realize that I was sitting in the car already. I must've blacked out while walking out here. I sighed softly as I ran my hands over my face. "I just need to go home and get some sleep." I said, aloud. I started the car and pulled out of the parking lot.

            "Let's go down to the beach." Jade said, leaning over the back of the couch. Her arms wrapped around Javi's neck, fingernails scratching against the white t-shirt he was wearing. "The beach?" He questioned. "We could go rollerskating..." She said, softly. "I dunno..." He said. "I haven't roller skated since I was a kid." "It could be fun and I would help you." She offered. "I'd like that." He said, turning his head to kiss her on the cheek. "Come on then." She said, tugging him off the couch.

            The day was warm, like Javi's skin. The skin on the arms that cradled Jade to sleep at night when she was too tired to drive home. The skin that smelled of sandalwood and burnt whiskey. He had changed, in more ways than one...and just for her. Suddenly, the nights were not filled with that animosity sprinkled sex. They were filled with the kind of sex that was...special. It was the only word that could describe it. Javi wanted to have sex with her all the time. In the mornings before breakfast, after lunch, in the backseat of his car. He'd become feral for her. The tendencies seeped into his mind, driving him through it all. He couldn't get enough. He found himself studying things about her that he'd never noticed before. They stood in the skate shop together as the sea breeze blew through her hair. That smell invaded his senses and for a moment, things slowed down to a painful speed. She laughed at the cashier. The sun was to her side profile, it made her skin glow. Her eyes were brighter. Something inside had a grip on Javi's heart, squeezing tightly as she looked over at him. The laughter faded as she smiled at him.