Blandview High Musical

33. Thanksgiving

Javier tried to keep himself centered as alcohol coursed through his veins, beckoning him to lose control. The club that he and Nico were at was as much outside as it was inside. Javier remembered himself being sandwiched between two girls as all of them were dancing. For a moment, he had forgotten all about California and her. Then later, it hit him. He had to excuse himself from dancing, claiming to the two women he was too drunk to carry on. He'd lost sight of Nico, who was probably screwing a girl in the bathroom. Javier slumped against the bar before asking for water to sober himself up. He needed to go home. He needed to shower and to think about certain things. Although Javier might've gotten a taxi in the city, but out here...he'd be on his own. The walk would be long but give him enough time to clear his head.

He sent Nico a quick text message, letting him know he was heading home. She was invading his mind and beginning to drown him in his own feelings. Javi finished the water and left the bar. As he walked, his hands were balled up in his pockets as he walked. The night air was chilly, but the alcohol was keeping him warm. He could feel a sweat breaking across his forehead. His mouth was running dry and he was beginning to feel sick. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all. His feet skidded to a stop in the gravelly dirt beneath his shoes. His eyes sunk shut as he began to take a deeper breath inward and pushing it out. "Just calm down." He said. His voice was beginning to quiver.

At the same time, Jade was sitting on the edge of her bed. James was asleep on the other side. She was staring out the window at the moon. The reflection of lighting caused the stars to disappear beyond the nightly blanket of black. Tonight should've been perfect. Tonight should've been the night. But there's just one problem...Jade's not in love with James. Sure she can fake it for his benefit, but there's nothing there. He makes her feel good. He's not good though. He's bad; he's always been bad. If there's one thing Jade's learned from her father, it's that men don't change. Not for anyone or anything. They will always be the people they were molded to be. Her knees were bent as her arms wrapped around them, hugging them close to her body.

Javi stood there out in the open, looking up towards the sky. There was a certain aching in his person that would not leave him. He should've never left California. He shouldn't have abandoned her...not at all. He took another deep breath and he started to sing.

Javi: I'm going under and this time I fear there's no one to save me

This all or nothing really got a way of driving me crazy

I need somebody to heal, somebody to know

Somebody to have, somebody to hold

It's easy to say, but it's never the same

I guess I liked the way you numbed all the pain

His feet started to pick up as the background began to fade into pastel and half blurred images. The bright colors lit up the night sky. It was difficult to tell what was real and what wasn't.

Javi: Now the day bleeds into nightfall

And you're not here to get me through it all

I let my guard down and then you pulled the rug

I was getting kinda used to being someone you loved

Jade had gotten up from where she was sitting and had pulled the sweater around her body. She tied it around her waist as she headed for the door, leaving James alone.

Jade: I'm going under and this time I fear there's no one to turn to

This all or nothing way of loving got me sleeping without you