Blandview High Musical

72. Play Date

My feet scraped against the asphalt of the road as I walked around the car, stepping up onto the curb and moving into the grass. It had been 2 days since I had written my letter. I walked through the grass and through the rows of tombstones. The dirt on top of Shayne's grave was still fresh. It had only been a week since he'd been buried. I walked over to where the tombstone was. Etched across the front read: Shayne Robert Topp, gone but not forgotten. And underneath that was his birthday and his death day. I reached forward, brushing my fingers over the top of his tombstone. I sat down on the crumbled dirt with my legs crossed. "Shayne..." I said, softly. I could feel myself getting emotional. I cleared my throat. "I uh...I listened to your tape." I said. "I didn't realize you had written another song for me." I said. I reached into my pocket on my jeans and produced a folded piece of paper. "I wrote something for you." I said.

            I started to unfold the paper when I stopped, my eyes moving across the face of the stone. "Shayne, I loved you. But we were fucked up. We were wrong. Everything we did was ass backwards...and—and I hated that. You led me around like a horse, jerking the reigns when I did something you didn't approve. Jade says that you were just someone that needed to be accepted for who you were. I think it took me so long to say that I loved you because I was waiting for the proof that you deserved my love. But now that you're gone, there's an emptiness in my heart and I don't know if I'll ever recover from it." I said. I sniffled softly as I held the folded paper in my hand. "You were everything to us. I'm sorry that you are gone, but wherever you are...I hope that your toes were able to be in the sand." I reached into my pocket and pulled out my lighter and held it under the paper. It caught fire, flickering brightly as burning. It burned the paper up into black ash as the smoke billowed up towards the sky. I pressed my hand against my lips before pressing it against the cold stone. "Goodbye, Shayne." I said.

            I got up from the dirt, dusting myself off as I turned around and walked away. I wouldn't come back. I said everything I needed to say and now it was time to move on. The hurt wasn't going to extinguish instantly. I knew that, but I didn't need to spend all my time sobbing over his grave and wishing he'd come back. I simply walked back to the car and there was a lightness resting on my shoulders.

            The following day was Friday, we were at school. The morning announcements had shared this entire week a moment of silence for Shayne and his mother. It was still so odd to not see him in school, but Tommy was a nice distraction. He sat in front of me still, letting me play with his hair and braid it during class. Even Damien was starting to come out of his little hermit shell over Shayne's death. He had started smiling more and laughing more. We were all adjusting.

            Jade slid the spoon against her tongue, it was smeared with yogurt. "Stop eating it like that." Damien grumbled at her. "Like what?" She said in a breathy distracted tone. Donnie was sitting with some of his teammates. He wasn't engaged in their conversation. He was too busy eye fucking the shit out of her. I looked over at her, grinning. "Who the hell are you staring at even?" Damien asked, turning around to look over his shoulder. "No one." Jade said, shifting her sight away. "That's nasty. The tension is so fucking thick you could cut through it." I whispered. "It's just a game." Jade said. "You need to stop." I said. "Oh, and you don't? Every time you breathe the wrong way on Tommy he's halfway to creaming his pants." "Don't say things like that!" I hissed softly. She pushed her shoulder into mine. "It's just a little bit of fun." She said.

            "Who's she staring at?" Tommy asked me. "Donnie Lovefeld." I said. "That dick? Why? He's so...he's a cocky bastard." He grunted. I smiled. "Sounds like you're jealous, Tommy." I said, putting my hand on his thigh. "I am not." He snapped. "Oh no? You're not upset because she won't lick the cream off you?" I asked. He gave a shaky sigh. "Stop. Right now." I slipped my hand further up between his thighs. I scooted closer. "Aww...you're so cute when you're jealous." "I-I'm not—not jeaLOUS!" he shouted. My hand cupped the crotch of his jeans. "D-Don't—don't do this..." He whimpered. I retracted my hand. "Your wish is my command." I said. He huffed irritatingly.