I sat up in unison with my blaring alarm clock. Rubbing off my drowsy eyes all I wanted was to go back to sleep, where there was no Drake or pain. I sounded dramatic and I hated it. I stole a glance at my wall clock and sighed, it was 6:40. I stared straight ahead counting down the minutes until someone came banging at my door. Most likely my mother, if it was any other day I'd probably be left to sleep in but today was Sunday.
God would understand I was grieving but not my parents. Dad hardly even believed me when I said I was in love. Maybe he was right and I really was too young to know what love was but if the ache in my chest was anything to go by then I had being in love probably still was. My eyes were heavy and there was no doubt they were swollen from all the crying. My body was itchy because I hadn't showered last night, the thought brought fresh tears to my eyes. Blinking them away I wondered what happened after I left.
Did Christine break up with Drake? Or did he somehow manage to sweet talk her into forgiving him? I couldn't bring myself to care, I was done with him, for good.
Light taps on the floor board disrupted my thoughts. Someone was walking towards my room. It wasn't long before there was knocking.
"Lizzy dear I know this isn't fair but you have to get ready sweetheart, we have service" Mom called out in a soft comforting voice. I shut my eyes feeling embarrassed for how I yelled at her last night that was so uncalled for.
"Lizzy!" She calls again.
"I will be out shortly mom" I murmured hoping she would hear me. She did.
"Okay dear I love you."
"Love you too." I choked out. I couldn't keep doing this to myself. I slipped out of bed stretching my tired limbs nothing sounded better than a cold shower. I undressed and dumped my clothes into the laundry basket heading into the bathroom. The first thing I was met with was my reflection. Wasn't I pretty enough? I had round brown eyes and shiny long black hair, a cute button nose and pink full lips. My chest was close to non existent but I had a small hourglass figure with tiny waist . My butt was round and perky, shocking considering my slim nature but it was there. I was tall, about 5ft8 and I always thought I was beautiful enough. Was I too in my own head not to see that I was only average or even plain?
"Quit this depressing thoughts, you are beautiful." I glared at my reflection but my voice wavered and a tear slipped. Turning away from the mirror disgusted with myself I climbed into the shower cubicle.
After my shower I cleaned up, went through my morning routine and dressed according to my mood. A black flowing gown with a decent slit at the side, it was backless and daring for church. I think I bought it for a funeral a few years back and had only worn it a few times. Not feeling in the mood to pamper my hair I threw it into a messy bun and held it together with a white ribbon turned cream. The outfit was paired with my white wedge sandal. For someone who didn't feel so good I was definitely dressing up, old habits die hard I guess. A quick yell for me forced me to hurry down.
"You look nice, sweetheart." Mom smiled but her eyes were sad for me. I looked away whispering my thanks.
"Are you okay sweetie?" She bites the bullet and braves the question.
"Yes" I lied with a tight smile forcing her to drop it.
"Princess" I heard after a few minutes making me look up and smile at him.
"Good morning dad."
"Morning dear." he kissed my forehead before taking his seat.
"How did you sleep?"
"Good how about you?" He nods noting I didn't want to be pressed on the matter. "Where is Ethan?" He switched topic.
"Probably still sleeping, sweetheart go get your brother." Mom orders softly and I was happy to oblige feeling the air thicken with unspoken words.
"Okay" I pushed my chair out and hurried out.
Ethan's room was on the ground floor and I took the right hallway. The sound of Pop smoke, a famous rapper could be heard through the thick wooden door.
"Ethan!" I yelled whilst knocking. His footsteps responded immediately and the door was swung open with Ethan dressed.
"I can't find my tie Lizzy." He brings my attention to his messy room, his clothes were covering every surface in the room and I winced at the mess, boys.
"Then don't wear one". I stated too sad to offer any help.
"I'm dressed in a suit I need a tie." I really couldn't deal with him this morning.
"No you don't just leave a few buttons open it's fashion." I shrugged trying to keep calm. He considers it for a second before agreeing.
"I will just clean this mess later." He says closing the door behind him. "Soooo?" He starts as we walked back to the dinning.
"What?!" I retort hoping he would get the memo that I didn't want to talk about it.
"How are you?" Obviously he was dense or didn't care, it was the latter.
"I'm fine Ethan." I say bored, to hide my real feelings about that question.
"Are you really though? Are you really fine?" He pushes concern shinning in his warm brown eyes and I felt slightly guilty for worrying everyone. Not guilty enough to talk about it though.
"He was just a guy Ethan, nothing serious " I shrugged, lying through my teeth, I was getting good at it too. Drake wasn't just some guy I loved him. He sighs but drops it when we entered the dinning.
"Good morning mom, Dad." Ethan smiles before sitting beside mom. I turned around to take the seat beside dad.
"Lizzy pray."
"Okay". I shut my eyes and led a small and quick prayer.
Service was longer than usual and I passed it off as coincidence when the preacher spoke about human disappointments. When we got home, I distanced myself and laid in bed, depressed.
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Edited.
