Small caresses on my cheeks had my eyes opening green eyes stared down at me. "Please William you appearing in my dreams is making this harder" I choked out. "I'm real Belle," "no you're not "I sighed, "you'll start to disappear soon I know it". He shakes his head smiling sadly, "did I kiss you in your dreams?" "This is the longest you've stayed" I ignored his question what's the point of answering to an imaginary object. He leans in kissing me and I sit up feeling the blanket fall to my waist. Feel? "Fuck! You're really here how? When?" I stuttered looking him over. He wore black T shirt and sweatpants his gaze was watery. "I got your text at two this morning since I didn't check my phone till then. I wanted to come immediately but I knew if I wanted a chance to say goodbye it had to be at a proper hour". Say goodbye,it's really happening we're breaking up,I'm leaving New York. "Don't cry love" "how? How can I not cry William? Tell me how! I'm so lost I don't want to believe it's happening I love you too much to let you go" I rant grabbing his cheeks to kiss him. He pulls away standing up from my bed. He looks away but I saw the tear roll down his cheeks first. It brought tears to my own eyes. "Your whole life is ahead of you Lizzy, finding love is part of life losing it is also part....." "don't say that please". "You have to come to terms with it Lizzy. Hiding away won't change anything" his voice grew stern. "We can try long distance I'll be faithful I promise" I climbed down reaching for his hand, "please William please". "I won't put you through that Elizabeth I could never put you through that, I'm sorry" he pulls away walking to the door. "Don't you love me anymore?!" I called out staring at his back as I hyperventilated. "More than life itself Belle. I love you enough to let you go" he says without turning back. "Let me see those eyes one more time" I whispered walking forward. "Lizzy....." "Please William. I need to remember how they stared down at me". He turns to face me as the tears rolled down his cheeks and I wiped them away crying and laughing. "This is it huh? I finally got to see William kwin cry," he chuckles but nods. "I'll cry a thousand times for you," "you're making this so much harder" I placed my forehead on his. "I'm sorry this is hard for me too but I needed to see you," "I'm glad you came. So who breaks up with who?" "I'll give you the honor of breaking up with William kwin," "you wish" I laughed looking into his eyes. "I love you and I wish I didn't start the year with you if I knew I wasn't going to end it" I state honestly. "I wish I didn't take that job and I wish I didn't fall in love with you" I continued. He nods letting me speak. "But if I could take everything back. My love" I pecked his lips before whispering, "I will do it all again".
After William left I stayed in my room packing. Claire brought me breakfast but I didn't have the appetite to eat. My so called parents stayed away thankfully. I knew they loved me but who gave them the right to decide for me it was my life. I was pissed but moreover I was depressed. I promised William I would be happy but that had to be the first time I lied to his face. I could never be happy not when my heart remains here in New York with him.
Soft knocks came on my door before it opens and I heard the person walks in. "Lizzy!" Ethan calls and I stopped folding walking out of the closet. He stood awkwardly with both hands in his jeans. "Didn't you go to school?" "I couldn't not when you're leaving" he frowns. "You knew I was going to leave anyway" I sighed. "Not this soon Lizzy not this soon. I don't understand what's happening no one is telling me anything I'm not a baby anymore. I saw William kwin leave do you love him?" His voice lowers with his question. "He only came to wish me farewell as my boss Ethan and I pushed up my trip because I wanted to explore London" I lied. Somehow my parents made sure Ethan was not at the dinner he was sent to stay over at my grandpa's house. I should have known something was up immediately they did that. "There is nothing going on" "You are lying" he shakes his head. I had to make him believe me. I can't let him think I'm unhappy it would affect his happiness. "Why would I lie to you Ethan?" "I don't know but.." "there is no but bro I'm fine" I laughed walking forward to hug him. "I'm going to miss you so much" I cried and he squeezed me tight. "I won't see you for six years". "I'm sorry Ethan but I can't come for holidays." It would be too hard to leave if I did not that it was ever easy. "I love you Lizzy I know I don't say it alot but I love you sis". "I love you too Ethan. You are my brother the best one anyone could have" I pulled away. Wiping my tears I smiled, "do you want to help me pack?" "Okay" he smiles.
Four suitcases later we sat on the ground of my now empty closet. "Can I take your room?" He teased. "Don't you dare" I hit his arm chuckling. "But it's way bigger than mine" he whines. "I'm aware but it's mine so paws off". It was silent for a few minutes. "I will miss you Lizzy this house could never be the same without you" "obviously" I sassed to hide my pain. Looking around the empty hangers and cupboards I felt my eyes water. This was my home and now I was being ripped out of it like a weed, unwanted and pushed to the curb.
"You need to get more sweaters I heard London is very cold all year round" Ethan looks sideways at me in concern. "I will shopping is the very first thing on my list". "You have a list? Since when did Elizabeth Morgan do planning" he scoffs. "Shut up" I laughed pushing his shoulders. "I'm starving you coming?" he stands up stretching his hand out. "No I need a minute alone I'll meet you down" I smiled. "Okay sis" he leaves the wardrobe soon I heard my room door close.
Standing up I ran my fingers through my now empty wardrobe. Walking out I looked back one more time before flicking the light switch and watched as darkness envelope my wardrobe closing the door softly. Pushing my bags to the corner of my bed I sat down on my couch. Only one attire was left unpacked. I took some pictures but I mostly left everything I didn't want to be forgotten. I wasn't dead I didn't want my room to lose touch of it's owner.
"Elizabeth!" Dad calls and I don't reply hearing his footsteps draw closer. He pushed my door open walking in. "Princess" he sighs and I looked up at him still not saying anything. "Here" he hands me a file, "it's all the information of your duplex. Sarah and Geraldine has paid in full their rent for the next five years. When you get new roommates make sure it's not a freebie. We love you princess and when you have kids you'll understand the pain we feel sending you away". He sighs once more before leaving and a tear rolled down my cheeks wetting the spot it landed on in the file on my lap.
♥️♥️♥️♥️She's doing better than I would but how long will it last. Reality hasn't fully set in yet.
