I sat down beside Emma again bursting a bottle of whiskey open. I poured into the four shot glasses and took them all. Sarah was drinking sex on the beach and Emma and Gera got up to dance in the middle of the room. I continued taking shots until I may or may not have passed out on the table. Waking up was pure torture, my mouth tasted like vomit and my eye lids were heavy to raise. When I succeeded I had to shut it back because someone, me forgot to close my blinds. I turned on my side facing away from the window before I opened my eyes again. I was staring at the wall with the picture of Joseph Morgan now. I kept my room the same over the years only repainting and changing the bedsheets. Since I was in my pajamas I could guess one of the girls changed me. My stomach grumbles forcing me out of bed. I was hangover, hungry and smelled like vomit what could be worst. Oh yes! I didn't have any memory of anything that happened after we got to the club. I waited for the water to warm by brushing my teeth and wiping off what was left of my makeup. When I was done I moved under the shower letting it run on my skin for a few minutes before grabbing the washcloth and my body wash. I stared at my three crown tattoo for a few seconds before stepping out of the shower cube to dry up. Wearing a pair of shorts and crop sweater I went down. I didn't have time to blow my hair dry so I just left it down to dry naturally. No one was present when I got downstairs, maybe they were still sleeping. I made some pancakes before taking it to the living room eating as I watched tv. After eating I took some pills to help with the hangover, I washed my dirty dishes then placed it into the dish drainer. I decided to take a stroll through the garden. A bench was outside so I just sat down swinging my legs about. I was sad but I couldn't really wrap my mind around why? The wind blew my hair and goosebumps appeared on my skin. I was a living emotional bomb right now. At 22 you'll think I had figured out being an adult but nope I still felt like that 18 years old clueless bitch. I didn't necessarily hate myself because that would be crazy but I also didn't want to be me in the future. I found it hard to face my fears so I hid and did things to distract me. I never got closure with Drake or William or any other boyfriend for that matter. I threw coffee on Eli instead of admitting to him that him giving up two years together for money made me doubt myself. Was spending time with me really so easy to give up? I like to think I was an exceptional person to be around. I chuckled bitterly. Who was I kidding? I was inconsiderately blunt and I didn't appreciate anything because I had everything. I felt like the world should be given to me, that I'm so so great that everyone should want to be me. Yes I'm pretty and rich but do I have character? Do I care for people as deeply as they care for me? I can go months without calling my parents heck I never call anyone, they always have to call me who do I think I am?! Funny how knowing my problem didn't make me feel better, I'm a horrible person maybe that's my driving force to be a nurse how ironic. Standing up I wrapped my arms around myself walking back inside.
"Where were you?" Emma asks.
"Outside" I whispered before walking towards the stairs.
"Lizzy!"
"Umm?" I turned slightly to show I was listening.
"Are you okay?"
"Yes" I faced her squarely, "I'm great just hangover jitters" I chuckled and she chuckles too.
"I know how you feel too." no you don't, no one knows how I feel and no one will ever because I'm such an expert liar than even I thought was possible.
"Last night was crazy huh?" I walked back down to meet her.
"Yeah you disappeared for a minute or two then came back more bitchy than normal" she chuckles. I tried to crack my brain but I recalled non of that.
"Do you know what happened?"
"Oh oh oh" she draws smiling.
"What?" I frowned.
"You don't fucking remember do you?"
"Not really" I blushed.
"Well I can't be of much help neither can the others, you left on your own so anything that happened only you knows" she shrugs.
"Thanks for the help" I scoffed, oh God I'm beyond help, "I mean that literally" I added quickly.
"Don't worry I'm use to it" she waves off, you shouldn't be though I'm I that bad?
"Lizzy!"
"Umm?"
"You're acting really strange are you sure you're okay?"
"Yes why so doubtful anyway I'll go catch up on some studying" I smirked before standing up from the couch. Atleast that was not a lie, I had to study nursing was no child's play all those chemical compounds and drugs to memorize. Three hours later I shut my laptop after finishing my last assignment. From my window I saw across the road a small Chinese joint stared back at me. I could see people walking in and out and you won't believe who I saw next, that guy from the gym. What a coincidence I've being meaning to ask what he's reaction to my car that day was about. I jumped to my feet, changing to something more presentable in the speed of light.
"I'll be back" I called to the girls. I didn't hear their response as I shut the door running out of the gate. Taking my car would be a waste of precious time and I've always being a runner. I stopped in front of the door taking calming breathes before walking in. I don't waste any time in making my way towards him.
"Hey there" I sat across him. He frowns.
"Why are you staring at me like that?" I sighed, "you are the one who left me at the gym" I added. He stares at me for a few seconds before laughing.
"What?" It was my turn to frown. What the heck did I say that sounded like a joke to him.
"Why I'm I not surprised" he says after awhile.
"What are you going on about?"
"Rich girl getting hammered and cursing everyone in her path" he says ignoring my question.
"Getting hammered? Oh God did we meet at the club yesterday" I groan embarrassed.
"Yeah unfortunately" he shrugs.
"Why are you being so cold to me?"
"I don't fucking want you around me read the room god!" He yells attracting attention to us.
"Oh!" I say simply. He looked guilty he was even about to speak but I raised my hand to stop him.
"You've said enough you'll never have to see me again" my voice was cold and firm as I left the restaurant.
♥️♥️♥️♥️Lizzy is her own problem, who said loving yourself enough to think you deserve the world is a problem? Self love girls you all better have it😠😠😠♥️.
