Holy Sin | | JJK

44

As much as I have wanted to ask Su Young about that night I actually didn't. What if she builds another set of lies? But looking at her, it never feels as if she's at fault.

I glanced at my reflection in the mirror. I wanted to avoid this so called family dinner but looks like I can't because no way in the hell I am letting my father come to me.

Minutes later I was standing in front of the huge mansion rethinking my life decisions. I'm not even in a state to face these people.
My fingers were inches away from the doorbell and I didn't have enough guts to press it.

So the heavens made things easier for me.

The huge wooden door opened revealing a women in her late 40's. A very familiar face that I didn't want to see. She flashed me a very fake smile that I didn't return. I walked past her. The little eye roll of her didn't go unnoticed by me.

She walked behind me to the dining table. With one more step the sight of my father sitting on one of the chairs waiting for me, came in view. I sat on the farthest seat from him.

I didn't speak anything. I didn't want to. I felt the two pairs of eyes staring right at me with intensity. I heard him heaving out a sigh.

"Let's eat first." He said before the maids served the food in the plate. They started a conversation among themselves. I had no interest in participating in those stupid talks.

"How is everything going? I mean your work... And life?" He suddenly asked looking at me. I blinked in confusion looking at my right, left and then turning my head back.

He looked at me in confusion. I pointed my index finger towards me leaning forward on the table.

"Are you talking to me? Because before this you never asked me about myself. This is surprising. You took wrong medicines?" He rolled his eyes sucking in a sharp breathe.

"I'm trying to talk to you." I laughed at his statement. "Why? Aren't you having enough fun talking to your wife?" His jaw clenched making the anger quite visible on his face. I chuckled continuing to eat my food.

"Don't forget I'm still your father." I closed my eyes telling myself to stay calm. I kept the spoon folding my hands. "Let's come to the real talk. Why do you wished to see me?" He drank the water from the glass on his side letting the maid take away the empty plates.

"Do you have a boyfriend?" I choked on my saliva hearing that question from him. I scoffed. "Did you ever let me have one when I was of the age? Now I'm too busy with work." I still had though.

He clasped his hands together. "That's good." I narrowed my eyes in suspicion. I knew where this was going and I wanted to shut this topic off right away.

"Y/n, you are my only child."

That was such a great thing. I can't imagine having a sibling or a step sibling. I would have been treated like piece of shit then.

I shrugged my shoulders. "I don't see it as my fault." He bit his lips slamming his hand against the table. "Can you listen without giving comments?" I pouted looking away. "Where was I?" He sighed scratching his nape trying to remember what he was about to say. The lady beside him nudged his elbow doing some signs from her eyes.

"Right. So I was saying that you are my only child and you don't want to have my company later." I gave him a firm nod for that. Indeed I am not going to lead his company.

"But I am not going to be the CEO forever. So I need someone who can be the leader after me. How about you marry a potent guy and let him do my work?"

My lips parted in shock. Not because what he said but because how he said. So casually. As if he was asking me to buy a new PC.

"Dad... Are you okay? You ain't I'll, right?" I asked in a low voice. He hummed response. "I'm totally fine." I shook my head. "No you aren't. And I'm not going to marry." He narrowed his eyes at me. "Why? You're of the age. And there isn't really anyone who you like?" I started to think about it.

First picture was of Jungkook.

Wait. First picture?

I mean, the only picture.

But it's so complicated. I shook my head. "Not really." I muttered under my breathe.

"Then I can help you meet some people. Blind date?" My eyes widened and I was quickly refusing his offer. "No dad, please. Let's talk about this later. I don't want to marry and blind date is not even in the option."
He tilted his head looking at bit angry now. But he wasn't going to shout. He never did. Could he harsh with his words but shouting isn't his thing.

"Why so? You still have feelings for that—" He suddenly stopped as if he wasn't supposed to say it out loud. I stood up from my chair. "What were you saying?" He shook his head.
"I just—" I walked towards him standing beside his chair.

"Complete that sentence."

I stated sternly.

'You still have feelings for that—'

The sentence kept echoing in my ears. Does that mean he knows I was in a relationship before? That would be so much worse.

He stood tall in front of me.

"Jungkook." My heart sinked. I felt a boulder dropping in my throat. And at that time nothing came in my mind at all.

He knows! He knows! He knows!

I screamed in my head but wasn't capable of letting out another word.

"That shy idiotic piece of shit. Didn't you love him? Do you still have feelings for him? I don't think you should." He slid his hands inside his pocket. The corner of his lips lifted up.
I clenched my jaw swallowing hard before I spoke. "He is not a piece of shit." I gritted out feeling the rage rising inside me. This man right in front of me has no rights to bad mouth Jungkook.
How much does he even knows his own daughter. I'm no better than a stranger to him.

An amused chuckle left his lips. The sound so mocking, piercing right through my heart.

"Sorry my lovely daughter, but you are so dumb and stupid. How could you love that guy? And how do you still have feelings for him."

For some reasons tears rushed into my eyes. The way he was saying made him look like he knew every single detail of me and Jungkook. As if he'd been a part of my life all along.

Dumb, stupid, idiot, insane, crazy, brainless.

I have often heard those words. From everyone around me and for what?
For loving Jungkook? For craving to be his again?
I swear, every single day I think the same. I look into the mirror and mock myself to have no self control or pride. Believe me, I do that every single day.

But have you ever seen that little unknown emotion in Jungkook's eyes?

I have.

The little glint in his eyes, the slight shine and knowing feeling, and the emotion he has always had. Since the day I met him first to the very day.

It's true I don't know what that emotion is. Or what that look means but it's all that keeps me sane. That lets me through a day. That look of his doesn't let me break apart and keep me happy.

So, I don't care what names I'm being called.

I sucked in a sharp breathe staring right into his eyes.

"I'm not stupid. I have just gone through too much. I have been a block of ice for way too long. And now it's only getting hard to not let out my emotions. I'm not that dumb but yes, when it comes to Jungkook I can be a little because I love him the way no soul would ever do."