Holy Sin | | JJK

47

"I want to say something." Jungkook hesitated with his words while staring at my blank face. I didn't even know how I was feeling anymore and Jungkook was going to try his best to bring me out of that mood but was it that easy?

No.

I shouldn't have been so disappointed. I shouldn't have been so hurt knowing the truth. But it was hurting so bad.

"I am sorry." My head snapped towards him. I raised a brow in confusion. "I should have trusted you. I promised to keep you happy but I failed. My apologies aren't enough. I'll never be able to make up for all those years we missed and—" I hugged his waist patting his back. He shouldn't be feeling so guilty. He shouldn't blame himself. It's not his mistake alone.

"Don't Jungkook. Let's stop with the apologies. It's really more than enough." He brushed my hair caressing my waist.

My thoughts occupied me once again and he seemed to notice it again. "Remember, we are in this together." He whispered in my ears as I nodded my head.

"Ji Ho wasn't wrong Jungkook." I blurted out. He nodded his head agreeing with me. "Yes, he was just being the best friend we all need in life." I swallowed hard not being completely convinced with his statement. "But he chose a wrong path and it's gonna be so hard to forgive him or Su Young or even myself."

His body froze under me. I shut my eyes continuing to speak after minutes of silence. "I know I'll eventually forgive though but how am I ever gonna forgive my father. The man who raised me. The man whom I don't like very much but don't hate very much too. How am I ever gonna forgive him? He literally let me throw all the precious years of my life in a dustbin."

He rubs my back pulling away. He brings his hands up cupping my cheeks making me look into his bloodshot red eyes. He is hurting. I realize that his pain is so much more than mine for some reasons. Just, I don't know what those reasons are. He is trying his best to hold back those tears and it breaks my heart.

"We've got this." He whispers and attempts to not let his voice break in between. "Y/n, we are in this together." He repeats himself. He brings his mouth on mine and kisses me hard as if trying to make up for all those years. But we both know that we have lost that time. A tear slips from his eyes falling on my cheeks. We both cry and this is the most sad kiss we have ever shared.
I want to take his pain away. I want to throw my pain away.

—————————
—————

Two hours ago

"I saw these, y/n." Ji Ho throws some photographs on the table.
My hands tremble. My pupils shake and before I even pick up one of those photographs to get a closer view my head turns towards Jungkook but to my surprise he is staring at the photos with more shock than me.

He picks up one of them, then the other and then another.

"What the hell?" He mutters. He is shocked. He is hurt. And something very painful flashes in his eyes. He bites his shaking lips. His breathing getting uneven with every second passing by. The anger, the disappointement inside me all dissolves. Concern for him surfaces.

I raise my hand about to keep it on his shoulder when he turns his head towards me with so much speed that I almost hear a bone cracking. Tears fall from his eyes. "This isn't what it looks like." I wonder what was his first thought after seeing those photographs. Of course it was about me. He holds my hands shaking his head vigorously. "Y/n, those aren't real." And I have never seen him this way. Never.

He is so vulnerable. And it's as if those photographs have broken something inside him.

"Stop with the fucking act Jungkook. I found these and I wanted to tell y/n what a Fucking cheater you are but she loved you so much that she wouldn't have believed anything that I would have said. So I had to do what I did. To show your true colours." Jungkook slams his hand on the table swiping his hand over it making all the photos fall on the ground.

"No! Y/n, please believe me." I nodded my head because no where in hell I was going to repeat my mistake. He was asking for just one thing.

My trust.

I give that to him. I tell him I trust him more than I have ever trusted on anything else in this universe. I tell him that I believe him and I'll not leave him no matter what.

"Jungkook, relax." I tell him to breathe. He does. He tries to calm down. He tries to push away those memories that have surfaced. He holds my hands squeezing it tightly.

It hurts.

But I let him.

"Ji Ho. Where did you find these photos from?" I ask pushing away the nervousness inside me. Because I get the feeling that something worse is coming. Ji Ho shakes his head showing me his disappointment. "You still believe him? After eve—" I lean forward but not enough since Jungkook is holding onto me tight.

He isn't crying anymore. He isn't shaking. He is silent. He is drowning into a deafening silence and I want to help him.

"Where did you get these photos from?" My voice is more firm. Like a threat. Because if he doesn't tell me I'm gonna throw the nearest thing to me right on his head.

However, after a long pause he speaks.

"Your father showed me." My world comes crushing down right on my feet. Jungkook flinches. As if something pierced his heart. He's taking the hurt for me but he can't.

His eyes fix on me trying to read my reactions. He does.

My face is filled with too many emotions. I don't know if he can decipher those emotions.

"What?" I ask again because I don't believe what I just heard. Jungkook's arm wraps around my waist securely. He's holding me tightly.
"You heard me. He is your father and no matter what he still wants best for you." I am not listening to him anymore. I want to tell him how wrong he is.
It's true I don't know why my father did such a thing but I am positive that there's no selfless reasons behind them.

"Ji Ho. You did wrong. You should have talked to me. You shouldn't have done what you did. Jungkook isn't in the wrong. And you deceived Su Young for nothing." I pick up the photos tearing them off. "These girls in here aren't real. It isn't what it looks like."

He glares at Jungkook. He wants to beat some senses into me but I want him to know that I have all my senses.

"You are making a mistake." I take a hold of Jungkook's hand making him stand up. Half his weight is instantly on me but slowly he regains it. God, it hurts to see him so weak.

I want to know what happened. What is it that's bothering him so much?
Not for me but for him.

"If it's a mistake then be it. I'm sure it's worth the punishment."