Holy Sin | | JJK

45

That night.

I have had enough of it. Initially I wanted to hear from Jungkook but I'm not that patient. He's out of town and I don't even know when he is going to come back. If I don't get to know what happened that night I might die out of suffocation.
I ring the doorbell before the door opens revealing a familiar face.

She gives me a faint smile before moving aside to let me walk in.

"I knew you'd come." She said closing the door behind her back. Leading me to the couch in the living room, I sat down while she poured me a glass of water.

"Su Young..." I called out her name almost in a whisper. She sat beside me bringing her hand over mine.

"I know for what you are here. I'll answer you. Just like I said I'd do." I glide my tongue over my lips feeling the little organ between my chest hitting crazily against me.

"Please just listen me." I nodded my head feeling my muscles being painfully constricted. It was as if I was being squeezed really hard.
She got off the couch kneeling in front of me. I frowned in confusion. She hanged her head low.

"I apologize y/n. I know my apologies wouldn't bring any change but please just let me do it. For my sake. And I'll be totally fine if you don't accept my apologies." I gulped rubbing my sweaty palms on my thighs.

She looked up and she was holding back tears. Really hard. Almost as if she didn't want me to see. She lowered her head again.

"Y/n, I shouldn't have fallen for Jungkook but I did. Even when I knew he only loves you, I still did. And you shouldn't forgive me ever. I was friends with you. I shouldn't have done that."
Her words sounded sincere. With all the honesty she had inside her. Nothing seemed like a lie.

"But it's not Jungkook's fault. It's not even your fault and I don't know if I should say this but I'm not at fault too."

I held her shoulders making her sit beside me. "So Young, what happened that night?" I whispered ever so slowly. She cleared her throat sucking in a sharp breathe.

"We were in the after party. Waiting for you. Jungkook was so happy and excited since he was going to make your relationship with him official. Even though the two of you had a huge fight early that day, it didn't matter. It was as if he didn't even remembered fighting with you. I don't know why the two of you fought-"

The reminisces of that day flooded in my brain like a tsunami. Indeed, the fight was as if it didn't happen at all. It was a huge fight because for the first time both me and Jungkook told each other that it was better to take a break.

But after few hours everything went back to normal. My heart still clenches everytime I remember that fight though. It was a nightmare.
Jungkook was so angry. He didn't show but I could tell by his face and body language.

"It was because of Ji Ho. Not particularly but I know who he was pointing out." I cut her speech off stating the reason. I am way too friendly with everyone and that day I even gave my number to two other guys. Jungkook must have known that. He's not that possessive and I know how much he trusts me. He was just afraid that I wouldn't pay attention to him. That day I had been unknowingly ignoring him and I guess that was the real reason for the fight but his words came out all wrong.

"Yes, he told me how bad he felt. How he wanted to apologize to you. He even slapped himself for being so immature. That's why he planned a surprise for you after your birthday. I don't know what surprise it was. He just told me that you'd be really happy."

Something cracked inside my heart. The loud sound of the cracking ringed through my ears, I swear.

"And then we drank a glass of wine or two while talking about... You know, random things." She halted looking up at me. I tilted my head raising a brow. "Then..." She stared at me weirdly parting her lips. "Then... I don't remember." My eyes widened as I gasped. "What?" She nodded her head.

"I don't remember a single thing after that. I only know that the next day I had been awake with a throbbing headache beside a half naked Jungkook on the bed. I had my pants on and so did he but the two of us were topless. It made me freak out and almost faint. I had seen Jungkook as my best friend's boyfriend. Always. That's why I was so bewildered and I was panicking. I didn't know what to do. So, I left before Jungkook woke up. And till today I didn't have any guts to tell him that. But I'm sure of one thing. Both of us didn't do anything. We were just sleeping beside each other. That too as if we had fainted."

I couldn't process it. My brain was malfunctioning. I thought I'd get my answers after this but it only got more complicated.

However, now I knew that Jungkook didn't sleep with her. It sent a wave of relief but at the same time a huge destructive wave of guilt.

"Later in the evening, at the hotel where we were staying I found him near the pool. He was just staring at the wall blankly and swinging his leg in the water. I sat beside him and when I asked what was wrong he broke out into tears. As if my question was the last hammer on his weakest point. He told me that you texted him that you want a breakup. You wouldn't answer his calls and he was just banging his head trying to reason out for your sudden behaviour. I hugged him because he really needed it. I apologize again because after that I thoughtlessly kissed him thinking it was a better idea."

I had seen that with my own eyes. That's what I have seen. That evening I was going back to talk with Jungkook but unfortunately I happened to see the scene. And I walked away without saying anything.

Again.

"I was there." I blurted out. "I saw you." And that broke my trust. The little hope I had that maybe she wasn't at fault broke into millions of pieces. "I'm sorry. I saw you and I saw the hurt expression on your face too. It's imprinted in my brain till today." I wanted to scream and give her a hard slap for some reasons.

"Jungkook kissed me back thinking he was kissing you and when he came back to his senses he pushed me away like he had committed some crime. You know, how close he was to stabbing himself because of how disgusted he felt?"

He kissed her back thinking it was me. Was he that out of senses?

"After that he decided to come find you."

He did. And nothing happened right.

"And that was when he heard me telling Ji Ho that I loved him and hated Jungkook." The regret heightened to the peak. Yes, I loved Ji Ho but as a friend, because he was with me at my lowest. And that latter part about hating Jungkook was just me being hurt.

She sniffled looking away. "And then you two broke up." A tear ran down my cheeks but I instantly wiped it. God, why had we been this way?
Everything between us was so beautiful. Why it ended up being so ugly?

I clutched my fists feeling the tightening pain in my chest.

"I should have trusted him. He should have trusted me. We should have talked and not let each other go."