Lies

Chapter 37

Felix

"Mum you really didn't have to come with me." I say as I push her in her wheelchair. We are entering a shopping mall in search of Kagami's birthday present.

"On the contrary, I would like to know what my son is buying for the girl of his dreams." She smiles.

My mother hasn't been doing any better than before. The deterioration looks the same, but it's not as quick and noticeable. It's gotten to that point where I need to watch how I take care of her. She seems  to bruise a bit easier now.

She is wearing a headscarf, a silk gown with ruffles and some sandals. Her diamond ring from my father is shining so boldly; though it looks as if it might fall off. He wanted something unique for my mother. He had taken me out to lunch in order to coerce me into helping him.

I would like to say that it was probably the best day of my life. Finding out that my father, who wasn't really my father, wanted to become a part of our family. He then gave me my ring that matched his wedding ring.

I rarely wear it though. It's not because I never liked it. I do. However, I feel unworthy of it. The day I wore it, was the day I noticed Kagami staring at it when we were arguing in the English room. I was terrified of her asking. I'm not sure why though.

"If you are so persistent in knowing, I am getting her a new ring. She has a ring on her finger with her family crest and I thought I could get her a new one." Perhaps a ring wouldn't be ideal. I don't want her to think that I mean anything by it.

Like a-

"A proposal?" My mother tries to keep in her laughter.

I knew it!

"No!" I say in an annoyed tone. "Don't be ridiculous, mother. I just wanted to get her something nice. It's her birthday this weekend." My index finger and thumb massage my temples. This was not going as planned.

"I know you want to make her happy, so why not think about what she likes?" My mother asks.

My mind starts to oil up its gears as they begin to move. For a moment, I think of her smile. How I've never seen one so beautiful the day we talked about our journal thoughts during English. She was so illuminating that I tried to keep my eyes open. I was afraid if I had blinked, she or the moment would disappear.

Then the thought of her eyes. The honey dripped inside them. Asking me to get lost within them. As she spoke they glistened and I wanted nothing more than to swim in her eyes. As she spoke to me, I did get lost. I fell down and drowned.

I'm not sure if she realizes what she does to me.

But then that reminds me of when I noticed her drawing of myself. She had drawn my eyes. She had drawn me in her free time. What does that mean?

Does she think about me?

Does she want me the way I want her?

Will she forgive me for all the hurt I've caused?

Drawings! She loves to draw, she loves the color red, she loves reading manga.

And then it hit me.

"I know what I want to get her." I smile triumphantly.

****

It's Wednesday evening.

My plans were ruined the moment Adrien stepped foot into my home. He stood there smiling like the nauseating angel he is. His fencing uniform is dry cleaned and he wears a scent on him that causes me to grimace.

His smile does not waiver as he places his hand back down to his side from waving. His eyes show hope, happiness and kindness. It annoys me so much to see him like this. He's a sick puppy in love and I hear it all the fucking time.