Tubbo: Bye Phil! Bye Ranboo! Bye Tommy! Bye Techno! Bye Ranboo!
Tommy: You said bye to Ranboo twice.
Tubbo: I like Ranboo more.
===============
Techno: Do you take constructive critisism?
Tommy: Sorry, only cash or credit.
===============
Tommy: I'm sorry for all the things I said.
Ranboo: And for punching me in the face?
Tommy: No, you definitely deserved that.
===============
Tommy *spills his drink: FUCK-
Phil: We really need to work on your swearing.
Tommy: Why? I'm pretty good at swearing already.
===============
Phil: *Taps foot angrily
Techno: *crosses arms
Tommy: I can explain!
Techno: Can you?
Tommy: Yes, if you give me thrity seconds to think of a good lie.
===============
Tommy: I don't give a shit.
Tubbo: You give so many shits they're visible from space.
===============
Ranboo: Oh crap, I forgot.
Tommy: Forgot what?
Ranboo: How do you expect me to answer that?
===============
Phil *holding a bottle: Is this perfume or whiskey?
Skeppy *chugs bottle: It's perfume.
===============
Tommy: Look, I may not be a saint, but I'm not an arsonist, I've never killed anybody, or seen a wallet lying outside of the store and thought about returning it to the owner until I saw they lived out of the state, so I just took the cash and dropped the wallet back on the ground.
Tubbo: That's strangely specific Tommy, which makes me think you definitely did just that.
===============
Techno: Hey Wilbur, can I have a sip of your water?
Wilbur: It's not water.
Techno: Ooh, vodka, I like your style.
Wilbur: It's not that either, it's vinegar.
Techno: ....
===============
Tommy: What's the best thing to do on a date?
Tubbo: Restaurant.
Ranboo: Park.
Techno: Murder.
Wilbur: IT COULD MEAN ALL THREE IF YOU'RE NO PUSSY!
=================
Techno: If you bite it and you die, it's poisonous. If it bites you and you die, it's venomous.
Ranboo: What if it bites me and it dies?
Tommy: Then you're poisonous. Jesus, learn to listen, Ranboo.
Tubbo: What if it bites itself and I die?
Ranboo: I think that would be voodoo.
Philza: But what if it bites me and someone else dies?
Wilbur: That would be correlation, not causation.
Techno: Oh my God.
===============
Tommy: I am the strongest of all the minors!
Tubbo: No mate, I am.
Ranboo: Actually, I am.
Purpled: .... I could beat all of your asses blindfolded.
(I believe in purpled supremacy.)
===============
Tubbo: I wish someone would write a nice poem about me!
Wilbur: Roses are red, violets are blue...
Wilbur: Life is short, and so are you UwU
Tubbo: I fucking hate you.
Song reccomendation: Foundations of Decay ~ My Chemical Romance
Stop chiding me about being emo the songs are actually nice iN mY hUmbLe oPinIon
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Bench Trio Oneshots
FanfictionBench Trio Mini Stories! Usually cute but also angst bc yummy. I take requests but no smut or extreme gore, and advice or even hate is accepted :] Thanks for clicking this book and enjoy! Cover by EssietheArt, not mine, I draw terribly! BTW the firs...
