it's u || minsung

37

⚠️TW/ talks of abuse, talks of self harm, talks of suicide attempts.⚠️

"all rested?" minho asked as jisung woke up. as soon as they got to the hotel room jisung took a nap.

"yeah. what time is it?" jisung asked, sitting up.

"midnight." minho said, both of them nodding. "do you want to talk now?" he asked gently.

"yeah." jisung nodded, giving minho his full attention.

"i feel like the previous times we've talked about this we were both too emotional to be able to really talk." minho started, jisung nodding in agreement. "i really really like what we have. we started moving a bit fast for me? i got scared."

"what are your boundaries?" jisung asked gently.

"skinship is okay. i'm not ready for kissing or anything else yet. but hugging, cuddling, hand holding, kissing like foreheads, hands, that kind of stuff is okay. we just need to slow down from how we were."

jisung nodded, gently intertwining their hands. "the whole needs being met thing, i hope you know that goes both ways. you will do anything to meet my needs and i will do anything to meet yours."

"i'm sorry sung." minho sighed, moving closer and cuddling into jisungs chest. jisung played with minhos hair, a soft smile on his face.

"don't apologize min. you have your boundaries and i respect that. your ex traumatized you. i will wait as long as it takes for you to be ready to move forward, okay? like you said, let's take our time together." jisung smiled.

"you're so sweet." minho smiled.

"not as sweet as you."

"i just feel bad making you wait. i can't properly meet your needs when i won't even let you kiss me." minho sighed.

"kisses aren't one of my needs if you're not ready, min. it's as simple as that. i lo- i really like you and i'm willing to wait. as long as you're comfortable. a relationship has two people. everything goes two ways. not everything is about me, min. maybe in your world it is but you are my entire world. i'd do anything to keep you safe."

he loves me? he really loves me! "thank you, ji." minho smiled, holding him close.

"always, min."

don't worry min. i'll show you what it's like to be loved. you deserve the world.

"i need a cigarette." jisung sighed, minho sitting up.

"i'll go with you. wear this, it's cold." minho said, taking his hoodie off.

"thanks min, wear this." jisung smiled, handing minho his hoodie.

the two walked out of the hotel, taking a seat on the sidewalk. jisung placed a cigarette between his lips, allowing minho to light it.

"you lighting my cigarette will always be the hottest, most intimate, romantic thing we'll ever do." jisung chuckled, taking a drag.

"yeah?" minho smiled. "don't smoke when i'm not around."

the two laughed, jisung placing the cigarette between minhos lips.

"fancy seeing you two here." felix said as he and hyunjin walked over to them.

"hey, why are you guys out here?" jisung asked.

"smoking." felix said, pulling out a pack of cigarettes.

"living the rockstar life i guess." hyunjin laughed.

"han jisung!" a woman rushed out of a car, towards them. "baby what did i say about smoking?" she approached them, keeping a safe distance.

"mom! no- shinsoo. why the fuck are you stalking me?" jisung shouted, venom laced in his voice.

"let's go inside and talk." she said calmly.

"you can talk in front of all of us." minho said coldly.

"han jisung do not-"

"get the fuck out of here." felix groaned. "you flew all the way to australia are you that fucking desperate? he's not your fucking punching bag you old bitch. leave."

"disrespectful cock suckers." she scoffed.

"so what? i'll suck your run away husbands cock too." felix returned her scoff.

"excuse me?"

"shitsoo was it? can you go? you wreak of desperation. you're making it smell really bad over here." hyunjin threw her a disgusted glare.

"you will not sit here and degrade me and embarrass me and disrespect me." she scoffed.

"respect goes both ways. you have no respect for your own son so why should we respect you?" hyunjin questioned.

"you don't know anything about me."

"after you outed your son at our concert? it doesn't take much to connect the dots babes. you're not as mysterious as you think you are." hyunjin rolled his eyes.

"i told you it was just a joke!" she defended.

"i don't give a fuck if it was a joke. coming out is HIS thing. not yours. you took away something that was for him to tell people. he TRUSTED you and your deadbeat husband when he came out to you guys and just like that everything was ripped away from him. you couldn't even imagine how that feels so get the fuck out of here with your 'jokes.' you're not fucking funny." minho snapped, standing up.

"i don't understand why i'm the bad guy." she put her hands up. "stop playing the victim jisung."

"you're fucking UNBELIEVABLE?" jisung stood up, walking closer to her. "I DID NOT PUT UP WITH YOUR ABUSE, THE CONFUSION OF BEING FOUR AND GETTING NEW TOYS JUST TO BE BEATEN. IT BECAME SUCH NORMALCY TO ME FROM SUCH A YOUNG AGE. I DID NOT GO THROUGH THAT FOR YOU TO ACT LIKE YOUVE DONE NOTHING WRONG!" jisung screamed, tears forming in his eyes.

"han jisung!"

"NO! you ruined my life. you should've aborted me if all you were going to do is ruin my life. i can't be happy because of you. not like normal people. i blame everything on myself even when it's not my fault. i started self harming because of you. i've attempted suicide i don't even know how many times because of you. because i can't just be normal.

"you're a monster, han shinsoo. you took away the innocence of a child. i was four years old watching my parents fuck on the couch. being given toys but so easily having them ripped away from me. do you know how fucking confusing that was? i was just a little boy. i grew up so fast. knowing nothing and yet everything. don't fucking come at me acting like you're not the bad guy. because you most certainly are.

"i don't know why you're so focused on me when you have some drug dealers to fuck but leave. im so tired. i've spent my entire life tormented by you. but i put up with it because i thought 'she's my mom.' not anymore. im done putting up with it. as far as anyones concerned, i have no parents. fuck you." jisung stood in front of his mother, feeling the tears run down his face.

"jisung..." shock was written all over her face. not love. not concern. not guilt.

a/n: how was your day today? or if you're just waking up i hope you have a beautiful day. i love you guys. <3