it's u || minsung

46

⚠️TW// SELF HARM.⚠️

"min...can you wait on the bed. i can brush my teeth by myself." jisung said, stuffing the pretty floral box into his hoodie pocket.

"okay.." minho sat on the bed, watching his boyfriend disappear into the bathroom. he listened as the door locked.

jisung brushed his teeth, his thoughts ringing loudly.

you made a mistake.

you can't make mistakes.

you're a failure.

the one person you love the most.

you upset him.

way to go, jisung!

how fucking brilliant.

what would mom say about this?

god damn disappointment.

jisung silently cried as he rolled his sleeves up, taking out a blade.

what a waste of a perfectly good clean wrist.

jisung roughly dragged the blade across his wrists, filing the slits up his arm.

disappointment.

how could you make a mistake?

you upset minho.

how is he supposed to trust you now?

you know what he went through, and you joked so carelessly.

jisungs arm fell to his side, the blade dropping to the floor as he looked at what he'd just done. he let out a sigh, bending down to pick the blade up. when he bent down, he felt himself losing touch with his senses. he became lightheaded as his body went limp.

a thud was heard from the bathroom, minho quickly getting up.

"ji?" he knocked on the door. "jisungie, please." minho wiggled the door handle.

jisung regained consciousness, quickly sitting up. he stuffed the blade into the box, putting it back into his hoodie pocket.

"jisungie!"

"s-sorry min! one sec." jisung called back, turning the sink on.

shit shit shit shit shit.

oh fuck that burns.

he pulled his sleeves down, drying his hands. he quickly unlocked the door, rushing out. he was stopped when he was met with minhos chest. minhos arms wrapped protectively around him, holding him close.

"are you okay jisungie?" minho asked softly.

"yeah..sorry min. you know how i am." jisung nervously chuckled.

"you sure?"

"mhm. i think i need to be alone for a bit."

"what's wrong?" minho asked worriedly.

"nothing! i promise you didn't do anything wrong. i'm just not feeling it today. just wanna lay in bed until tonight when we have dinner at chans family's house." jisung rambled.

"okay ji..do you want me to leave?"

"actually...i want cuddles. but can you text the group chat and let them know to leave us alone?" jisung said quietly.

don't make another mistake.

i mean, it's not a bad thing to keep him here. i love being around him and i want to spend every second with him. and his company will be nice..it always is.

but you don't deserve it.

"let's just cuddle." jisung said, letting tears fall as he crawled into bed.

"what's wrong my love?" minho asked as he laid next to jisung, pulling him close.

"i don't want to talk about it right now." jisung said as he began sobbing.

i can't make another mistake.

i don't want him to think anything's his fault.

i upset him and he communicated that he didn't like the jokes. get over it jisung, it's already been dealt with. you're such a fucking crybaby. he's probably not even upset about it anymore since you apologized.

do you have to be so over dramatic about everything? i mean, really. you're just overdoing it now. shut the fuck up.

"ji..." minho called out softly as the boy in his arms sobbed harder onto his chest. "i won't push you if you're not ready but please don't bottle up whatever's on your mind.."

"i made a mistake! i-i upset you and-and that's bad! making mistakes is bad! i'm not allowed to make mistakes! i'm a disappointment." jisung sobbed out.

"ji...no no no. it's really okay, i'm not upset anymore. i promise. and making mistakes is okay! it allows us to learn and grow as humans." minho said gently.

"i'm not allowed to make mistakes..." jisung sobbed.

"jisungie. you're human. every human makes mistakes." minho said softly.

"i-i'm so sorry." jisung sobbed.

"jisungie...you have nothing to be afraid of." minho said softly. "i will never be disappointed in you over a mistake. you're going to make mistakes. i'm going to make mistakes."

"i can't though!"

she taught him that he can't even make mistakes...he's afraid of making mistakes.

"yes. you can." minho whispered. he swears you could hear his heart break along with the sound of jisungs sobs.

"i'm sorry i'm so over dramatic..." jisung chuckled, drying his eyes as more tears fell.

"you're not dramatic. that's how you reacted to making a mistake, please don't invalidate your trauma. don't invalidate your feelings." minho said gently.

"i love you min. so much." jisung said as he began calming down.

"i love you. to infinity and beyond." minho placed a gentle kiss atop jisungs head.

"i'll make it up to you tonight." jisung smirked.

"don't worry, i have tonight all planned out." minho replied.

"well, it should be fun to see how this plays out." jisung said, hugging minho tighter.

"we shall see." minho smirked.

a/n: jisung is me.